We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Brianna McCabe a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Brianna, thanks for joining us today. Did you always know you wanted to pursue a creative or artistic career? When did you first know?

When it comes to writing in general, I’ve been told that I’ve always had a “gift” for it by my mom and teachers throughout my entire life (though I never really believed them due to Imposter Syndrome, I suppose) – but I don’t think that I ever actually considered that I could do something with this creative fire within me until college. This passion ignited once I sat down in my “Intro to Journalism” course my freshman year and let my professor’s lectures imprint my mind like that of the ink of a typewriter.

He changed the way that I viewed writing – and his well-articulated criticisms of my assignments and fine-tuning of my sentence structures instilled in me this passion for the craft as a whole. I was convinced that I’d pursue the journalism route post-college and find my way working at The New York Times breaking high-profile stories in the most prolific and objective of ways. Except, that wasn’t the case (and that’s okay!). Instead, I ended up earning my Master’s in Business Administration with a Concentration in Marketing, working full-time at a few marketing companies (and flexing my creative muscles in a different way), publishing research in academic journals, and becoming an adjunct professor.

While some may have looked at my professional resume as polished and clean, my personal/dating resume most certainly was not. You see, my 9 – 5 work schedule was delicate, balanced, and carefully calculated, whereas my 5 – 9 schedule of chasing after the stereotypical bad boys was chaotic, unhealthy, and ruthlessly miscalculated. It was this bizarre contrast, of sorts, that I could never really figure out until I started to do some serious soul-searching and self-reflections.

So when it comes to writing my semi-autobiographical meets self-help book, The Red Flags I’ve (Repeatedly) Ignored, it was a result of wanting to finally heal from myself and stop hiding behind the professional accolades and plethora of other pseudo-validations – and a mission to try and relate to others to help them heal themselves, too.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Not to be cliché and pull from the introduction of my book, but I strongly believe that the first few paragraphs really encapsulate all of who I am and the inspiration for my book:

If you were to ask me to describe myself in one sentence, I’d probably respond with something along the lines of: I’m your not-so-typical twenty (well, now thirty)-something-year-old woman with a quirky personality, lionesque-like mane of curls (well, at least until I was introduced to the heat damage of a hair straightener), contagious cackle, and inviting smile who’s oddly obsessed with binging Adam Sandler movies, immersing myself in cultures of the world, indulging in cheeses of all sorts, singing (well, butchering) Ginuwine’s “Pony” at dive bar karaoke nights, and smelling old books (and fresh cans of tennis balls… which is weird because I don’t even play tennis).

As an adjunct professor of public speaking and general communications, you’d think that I’d have an elevator pitch nailed at this point—especially given the fact that it’s one of the first assignments with which I task my students. Oddly enough, though, I always just wing my thirty-second-long pitch and cater it to the audience I’m speaking to. It’s the marketer in me. When I’m not teaching at a university part-time a few nights a week, I’m a full-time marketing professional.

Although my schedule is jam-packed with work, I somehow still managed to tack on the hobby of endlessly chasing after bad boys. (No, not the stereotypical ones that you see in movies, but the ones your favorite meme accounts describe as red flags.) Yeah, it was exhausting. While I may jokingly share that I’m not-so-typical in many ways, I have endured the typical (and universally understood) feelings of love, lust, and heartbreak. You know, those swooning and spooning stages that end in aching and breaking. Except for me, it became almost too frequent and not-so-typical in its own self-destructive way. Each time I had thought I had finally found “the one” who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with, an event would trigger me into realizing that the vision I had in my mind of said person didn’t actually exist and I was instead running into dead-end walls similar to Wile E. Coyote as he smashed into a made-up mural thinking that he finally captured the Road Runner. Like the cartoon, my taste in toxic men was just as loony.

I didn’t want to spend my life forever chasing after someone that wasn’t meant for me.

And I also don’t want you to waste any more time chasing after people that aren’t meant for you, either.

Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?

In The Red Flags I’ve (Repeatedly) Ignored, my goal is to share relatable stories to connect with others. I can’t even begin to tell you how many readers have reached out to me stating that, after having read my book, they haven’t felt so alone in their experiences – and instead, they now feel validated, they feel like they can forgive themselves, and most importantly, they feel like they can grow. I’ve been grateful to connect with others and learn more about their own lives, too. It’s created this powerful, uplifting human experience of sorts. It’s really been a beautiful ride and I truly am so thankful.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can provide some insight – you never know who might benefit from the enlightenment.

Writer’s block: it’s one of the realest phenomenons that I’ve ever battled – especially while trying to start a chapter or even a new paragraph in The Red Flags I’ve (Repeatedly) Ignored. There would be weeks where I’d lock myself in my room and stare at a blank 8 ½ x 11 Word document in the hopes that words would somehow just start pouring out. But it didn’t. As a result, I’d almost start to bully myself for this inability to create on command. Eventually, though, I gave myself grace. In those lull periods, I believe my brain was still processing.

But then, out of nowhere, the words would literally pour and I would crank out pages upon pages of text with such beautiful momentum.

Of course, then came the editing… and having to understand and accept this philosophy of “letting go.” I recall my publisher telling me that there would always be something that could be changed post-printing, but it was a matter of finding that acceptance and being content that I was ready. So there was this internal balancing act of trying to find peace with my product, and this external battle of feeling both exhilarated and terrified of the public finally consuming my book, which is a reflection of my life.

The process of writing, editing, publishing, and now marketing a book has been one of the most beautifully liberating, challenging, and inspiring experiences that I’ve ever endured – but it’s one that I’ve embraced in every moment. Along the way I realized, too, that no one was going to push this forward nor understand the struggle of the entire process except, well, me – which sometimes felt lonely in that sense that no one could truly understand, resonate, empathize, or assist in the intricacies of it all. With that, though, comes so much beauty, strength, and resilience in knowing that the only person fueling this fire is me.

If there’s something that you believe in strongly enough that you want to accomplish, it’s not going to be easy. Hell, it’s probably going to be one of the most challenging, depleting, and complicated journeys that you will ever ever embark on (at least for a large portion of that ride). I can also guarantee you’re going to face hurdles that, despite all of the research, you still aren’t properly prepped for, but it’s this learn-as-you-go ordeal that’s going to be so damn worth it once you ultimately complete what you felt destined to do.

For in that moment, when you finally look back and reflect on where you first started, you’ll have this profound revelation that you can truly do anything in this world with grit, wit, tenacity, skill (which you forever fine-tune), and passion.

I believe in you.

xo,
Bri

Contact Info:

• Website: https://thebriannamccabe.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebriannamccabe/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebriannamccabe
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thebriannamccabe/
• Twitter: N/A
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT3bLk9Eo90r8CIQvXB_I7g
• Yelp: N/A
• Soundcloud: N/A
• Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebriannamccabe

Image Credits

Andrew Devaloy, Matthew Payano, Perry Strong, Jessica Morrisy, and BELLA Magazine.