We recently connected with Ra’Keeya McMillan and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Ra’Keeya, thanks for joining us today. We love heartwarming stories – do you have a heartwarming story from your career to share?
Absolutely! June 1, 2022 at 5:01 am, I caught a babyboy from his mothers womb directly into my hands! His name baby “Buddah”. Buddah- the awakened or enlightened one-
Buddah’s birth was one of the most magical and mystical phenomenons of my doula career thus far. I found it no coincidence that like his name, Buddah- the enlightened one- this birth would be a catalyst and serve as a trigger unveiling something deep and ancestral within me further pushing me into my spiritual journey.
Four months prior to Buddah’s birth I sat in my very first apartment, alone. It was my first space to myself after 4 long years of rapid life changes and transition. Within those four years I had experienced so much change. I had ended a super toxic and emotionally abusive relationship, ended and walked away from childhood friendships, loss my job, experienced death and grief, faced my fears and exposed the childhood wounds that needed nourishment and to be healed. I was deep into my celibacy journey and figuring out what this new life of mine was all about. In this new found space, baby I was living LIFE and though I was alone, I found myself loving every single minute of my freedom! I was in this deep reflection state of determining what I wanted my life to look like, clarifying my beliefs and values, learning to trust my intuition and embodying the woman I deeply desired to become. This was the part of my journey that required falling in love with myself all over again.
The beginning of 2022, I decided that I would do the things that I was afraid to do. I decided to tackle all of my fears and face them head on. I also decided that since I was single and falling in love with myself, I would treat myself and solo dates were my thing! I randomly came across a sponsored ad on Instragram one day for a Heart of Oneness holistic Expo in Manalapan, New Jersey. Im a spiritual practitioner and psychic medium- a mystical being if you will- anywhere that had crystals, holistic products, homemade soaps, candles, Reiki healing, mediumship tarot/oracle cards, all the “witchy” and mystical things, baby I was there. This was my lane. This expo was being advertised as a “gateway for expansion, community, and divine heart collaborations”. It was there that I met Buddah’s mom, Corrine.
I strolled through the Expo happy and full of joy with all of my sensory functions being heightened and tickled. The smell of palo santo and incense in the air, the laughter of children trying to escape their mothers, the sound of card shuffling from the psychics at their stands; I was a kid in a candy store. I went to every single booth exploring and picking up some items to bring home. I knew I wanted a reading and came across Royal Roots ran by Corrine. I explored her set up and introduced myself as Ra’Keeya! Corrine was “pregnant pregnant” and the site of pregnant women for any doula or birth coach is one of GREAT EXCITEMENT. I was eager to tell her I was a doula for some reason following my intuition. I also found out that she was a shaman- a healer and also a spiritualist. Something clicked. I spun her “wheel of fortune” and ended up winning a free reading from her, however there was a waiting list. We agreed to do it virtually since I lived in Long Island. So we exchanged information. My reading with Corrine was awesome! This was in March.
May 2022 I received a message from Corrine inquiring if I was available to be her doula as her birth plan had changed. Corrine originally wanted to deliver her baby vaginally at a hospital, however the hospital created a last minute policy that stated they would no longer be doing VBACS or vaginal births after Caesarean. Corrine knew what she wanted and reached out to me to see if I could support her in having a home birth. I was in between births and time in my schedule had literally just opened up. I knew at that moment I was guided to attend that event just so I could meet Corrine, because she was going to need me. Im a firm believer that unborn children or “starseeds” know who they want at their birth and those who can help usher them safely with care and support from ethereal realm to earthside. In a sense, I felt very chosen.
We set everything up. I journeyed to New Jersey to meet Corrine, her daughter and her husband Frank. I spent the day with her and her family helping her create her ultimate birth vision. As a doula, it is not my job to make decisions for the family, however I am there to provide emotional, physical and spiritual support as well as evidence based information for mom and dad to make informed decisions about their birth. When I am chosen to be a family’s doula- I become apart of their family. I become the childbirth bestie. Birth is a spiritual journey. It is a time when a woman is “between worlds” guiding and preparing herself to meet her baby. It is also a time where, though there is much excitement to meet the new baby, the birthing space is a space for the mother to be mothered through her spiritual rebirth of herself. My doula practice is rooted in mindfulness, movement, spiritual wellness and traditional wisdom and ancestral birthing remedies. Birth is an intuitive natural process not a medical emergency. The body of a woman, just knows what to do and I assist mamas through breathing and trusting in this wisdom of the body. I was ready to help Buddah cross over while making sure his mother would be nurtured throughout her processing and transition of labor.
I arrived at Corrines home about 7:45pm on May 31, 2022 after receiving a text from her husband. I immediately went into “Doula Mode” covering the birthing space in prayers and asking from protection for both Corrine and Buddah from their spirit guides and ancestors as well as my own. It was going to take the village. Corrine was still in the first stage of labor so while she laboring through her contractions in the bath tub, I set up her flameless candles, prepped her living room and bedroom. At about 12 am , Corrines water broke while she was in the tub. It was thing I knew, intuitively, her labor was transitioning into active labor. Her contractions was starting to intensify. I literally starting experiencing cramping as well in my uterus as my body began to sync with hers. As a comfort measure, I provided Reiki, a healing modality uses for stress reduction. The energy intensified so much in the room, that I noticed Corrine’s husband frank, who was assisting me, becoming light-headed and sit down. A red party cup was a life save this night. We each contraction surge I poured running water over Corrines belly. This soothed her I noticed, so I did more of it. Corrine was growing exhausted from labor and we transitioned her from her bathroom tub to her living room where I applied hand compressions to her back for pressure relief. We swayed together, we hummed. I spoke positive affirmations over her reminding her each contraction was bringing her closer to meeting her baby. We then transitioned to the bedroom for Corrine to rest better between contractions.
4 hrs of laboring and Corrine was OVER IT! Just as she was deciding to say “f it”, as most birthing women do when they are extremely exhausted, I reached for my Iphone camera to check her progress and noticed she was crowning! I could see Buddha’s head! As a Doula, I do not provide medical evaluations or give medical advice. Seeing Buddah’s head told me “We are close to the finish line”. I reminded Corrine of her power and told her to reach down and feel her baby as a way to empower her. Baby Buddah was making his way out of mommy! By now, Frank was laying down next to her in bed out of it from the intense Reiki. I motioned for Frank to get up and with 3 more pushes Corrine pushed Buddah out straight into my hands. Buddah was born at 5:01 am June 1, 2022. He was greeted by his powerful mother Corrine, daddy Frank and me as his doula.
Buddah’s birth was a deep spiritual reminder of the power of faith, surrender and trust in the Divine, my ancestors and my spiritual team. I caught this baby. I immediately put him on his mothers chest for skin to skin and the flow of oxytocin was heavy in the room. Buddah latched onto mommys breast with no problem and the golden hour was solidified. Mom was relieved. Buddah was born safe and breathing on his own. Dad was overjoyed and I was beaming inside. Buddah birth was also a lotus birth or delayed cord clamping. Mom delivered her placenta about 15 minutes after birth. Her placenta was in tact, I rinsed it and covered in with a lavish amount of fragrant herbs. All was well and I was in a state of extreme gratitude. Mom was up and walking about 3 hrs after her birth and “feeling good”. I had prepped mom some postpartum witch hazel and aloe pas sickles to help soothe her vagina post birth. About 6 hrs after birth, mom WALKED into the hospital for her newborn screening. Mom had a very light tear that did not require stitches and the doctors and nurses were amazed by her birth story. Mom was cleared to go home after only one night of observation. Buddah was born at 8lbs and healthy. Passed all newborn screenings.
Buddha’s birth story is a story of complete trust and surrender. I couldn’t believe that I had caught a baby in my hands. This was the first homebirth in all of the 8 years of me being a doula and VBAC home birth at that. There were no doctors or nurses. Just Corrine, her husband and me, the doula. I had complete trust and faith in my skills and knew I was perfectly positioned to help this baby reach earthside and into his mommy’s arms safely. This birth changed my life and further strengthened why I “doula”. I doula because black and brown women and babies are dying at an alarming rate due to westernized medical practices and systematic racism in the birthing spaces. I created my doula business to provide black and brown mamas a safe space to feel all the range of their feelings as it relates to birth because at a childbirth, the mother is also reborn. She too deserves to be nurtured as she not only brings her baby into this world, but also a new version of herself.
This birth sparked a series of changes thereafter. For me, I was also reborn further into my calling as a birthkeeper and a healer. A caretaker. This birth was a major highlight in my life that let me know I’m in alignment and walking in my purpose. You never know where you’re journey will take you or how it will unfold. I allowed myself to be guided and followed y intuition even when I didn’t fully understand what it was saying at the time. You’re often in the exact place you need to be at the right time. Buddah has just turned 2 years old! He is a beaming light and a joy! Truly embodying the calm essence of his name.
This moment will forever stay embedded in my heart. A doula with divine hands walking in her purpose!
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
My name is Ra’Keeya McMillan. I am the owner and founder of Gentle Beginnings LLC, based in the capital region of New York. At Gentle Beginnings we “mother the mother”. Our mission is to ensure that the mother remains the primary focus of the birthing process. We achieve through providing services such as pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum care as well as spiritual coaching, education and trainings to promote optimal wellness mind, body and spirit.
I am a birthworker/ death doula, a healer, a womb practitioner, Reiki energy master and a psychic medium. I consider myself a soul care worker.
Being a doula isn’t just a job, but a more of a divine calling. I assist, support and guide women not only through pregnancy and childbirth, but also through their spiritual rebirth, womb healing and throughout major life transitions.
Ive been a doula since I was 9 years old, supporting my mother through her labor with my younger brother. I officially became a postpartum doula in 2015, providing pre and postnatal case management services to low income families in Harlem, New York. The goal has always been to close the gaps in care as related to maternal and infant mortality. Women of color should be treated with optimal care during their birthing process. BIPOC women are dying at alarming rates at the hands of western medicine where birth has become a medical event instead of a natural process that deserves to be treated with supportive care and sacredness. Birth is not only a natural process but also transformation. Birth is spiritual. While working in Harlem, NY, I was the lead case manager as well as the agency’s lead breast-feeding coordinator, shortly after becoming a certified lactation specialist. My field has always been in Social Work and for over 10 years I provided case management services to families, at risk youth, children with serious emotional disturbances and medically fragile, as well as adults managing their healthcare. I have taken my love for social work and social services and created my business Gentle Beginnings LLC as a supportive care network providing alternative therapies and holistic wellness starting at birth and beyond, through mindfulness, energy healing, tradition and wisdom. The healing work I do is ancestral. I help and assist mamas in creating beautiful birthing experiences on their terms and reclaim their voice.
What sets me apart from others is my social work and social services background. I start where my clients are and work from a strength based framework model to provide trauma- informed restorative health interventions for nervous system rebalancing, chakra health and spiritual wellness. I create safe spaces for WOC to unravel. Not only do I provide Doula care and birth work, but I also offer energy healing, trauma- informed womb care helping women restore balance and harmony in their wombs before/post birth, baby loss, post sexual assault and spiritual life coaching.
Compassion is one of my greatest gifts and being of service others is a passion. I am most proud of the community I have built during my doula career. My work is heart centered as I believe your emotional. physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing are connected. Sometimes it just takes a person who “gets it” and who truly understands the spiritual journey to be a lighthouse for someone else. I am walking testimony of what faith in action looks like and I take pride in helping others recognize their own light and helping them lead lives of fulfillment.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
Whats been most helpful to me in succeeding in my field has to be my authenticity and my ability to build great business relationships and rapport with my clients. I learned this saying from one of my social work teachers in college” you have to meet people where they are at. Sit self down and rise up professionally”. This saying has been a mantra of mines, because it is a reminder that I am a human being working with other human beings. We all have our “stuff”. Everyone has a story to tell of some sort. I had to overcome my fears of being seen, using my voice, tackling self limiting beliefs and grow my confidence. This took time and patience. Self development takes time and patience. Growth takes time. I continue to allow myself to be a student of life and study and understand that as a professional, as a birthworker, a healer, womb keeper, and all the interchangeable titles I hold, there is always something more to learn. I am forever a student and I’m willingly to be seen trying. Be yourself. The right people meant to see you and find you will find you. You really do have to trust the process when you are growing not only your business, but your legacy.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
A lesson I have had to unlearn and relearn a lot of things and invest in my personal growth and development. As a business owner and a soul-preneur I had to learn how to build stronger boundaries. When I first started my business I struggled with confidence and trusting my inner guidance. I had a fear of judgment and often worried what other people would think about my work and my spirituality, especially because I grew up in a Judaic faith. As a very compassionate person naturally, I also learned the hard way about building boundaries when I found myself feeling unappreciated, underpaid and not valued in some of my relationships and at some jobs. I was letting people walk over me. I was losing money. I wasn’t taking care of my spiritual and emotional health, because I wanted to “help everybody”. Building stronger boundaries and knowing my worth protects my spiritual, mental and emotional wellbeing. Learning how to stand up for yourself can be hard, but it’s reward is that you finally find your voice.
Being an entrepreneur is truly a spiritual journey because it forces you to grow and self develop. Your life begins to change when you start making certain decisions and choices that are aligned with your desires. As you grow and self develop, your relationships will change as you change and this is OKAY. Nothing will stay the same and change is often something people fear, because it requires you to step into the unknown. It is okay to let people go! It is okay to heal your traumas of neglect and abandonment so you don’t seek outside validation on something you feel called to create or do. It is okay to desire more out of life. It is okay to change. Self development is self-discovery. This is also self love and self care. Change is the only thing constant in life. I had to unlearn some limiting beliefs about myself and what my life could look like to actually become confident in creating it. I had to believe in myself first.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.GentleBdoula.com
- Instagram: @intuitive.key @Gentlebdoula
- Facebook: Gentle Bdoula
- Linkedin: RaKeeya McMillan
- Other: https://www.instagram.com/linkshim/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fspiritualdoula.as.me%2F%3Ffbclid%3DPAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZd_k7JyT8s5yyvMIateomvyDb6kKOxSZjxWR4MScZXD5a8Rn5AafEClhU_aem_ZmFrZWR1bW15MTZieXRlcw&e=AT0B99Fy73KqA4FG9KPsf9oVYBvnXdCEK3yLb2yZXEhL37m7N4DFVDJceRWdFJkWDCUnyo16ZwDiWAtJtZMK2XBIOQ87crHmCMjK0mCMHdIz
