We were lucky to catch up with Madalyn Conetta recently and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Madalyn thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you share an important lesson you learned in a prior job that’s helped you in your career afterwards?
Working as a psychotherapist (therapist/clinician) has a uniquely private quality; given confidentiality and obvious aspects of therapy, no one ever really sees you doing your work other than your clients. And that view is never truly clear because of the power differential, among other impeding factors. In some ways, I think this factor contributes to the time it takes to grow truly confident as a therapist; I don’t have a specific reference, but I remember hearing it said that it would take about 10 years and that has been on the nose accurate for my experience.
I’ve had various work settings, including: community mental health; private, residential and partial hospitalization eating disorder treatment center, non-profit juvenile justice residential program for moderate risk offenders, but the most important experiences I have had working as a therapist- by far- have been at my previous place of employment at a university counseling center. I started there about 5 years into my career, and then spent 9.5 years there before transitioning [just 6 months ago] to working for myself (independently) in my own private practice (LLC). That’s the shortest version of the story, but it gets you to the context of where my professional identity as a clinician/therapist really blossomed.
There are so many aspects to college counseling center work that make for an incredible breeding ground for growing strong therapists. The variety of presenting concerns that clients came in with, the general intelligence of the student population, and the access to so many training and consultation opportunities were just the beginning of the fun (“like being a kid in a candy store” my colleague would always say). This had been my “dream job” since I was in graduate school and now I finally had it- working with a multidisciplinary team of clinicians from different training backgrounds, with different specialty areas and interests, and different theoretical orientations (fancy way of saying “approach to the work/change process of therapy,” which is both a science and an art–so like any good science, they are categorized by these labels that clients hardly know or care about). I wont bore you with too much of that, but basically I was delighted to be on a team of super smart, knowledgeable therapists that I could learn, grow, and consult with. Obviously, immediate imposter syndrome set in- and being super pregnant with my 1st baby when I got/started the job didn’t help this process any! Fast forward to being reminded that I do-in fact- know how to do therapy and growing connected to this awesome team of therapists I “get” to be a part of and I soon realize that the most amazing, unique experience I was to gain at this job is the opportunity to engage in co-therapy with said incredible therapists! The opportunity to engage in co-therapy to provide group therapy services and couples’ counseling at this job provided me some of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a clinician. There is a different degree of vulnerability and depth to the quality of growth that comes of sharing a therapeutic space with another professional, and then being able to process/debrief about that experience following the service. I would say these are some of the richest experiences of my professional life thus far- particularly those involving clients’ healing and growth in this shared therapeutic space! In many ways, the power of these experiences seem to parallel the power of the experiences clients often have in group therapy and/or couples counseling.
Coming back to the “theoretical orientation” word, I feel like I mostly figured my own [theoretical orientation] out through my time providing co-therapy. Having colleagues whom I respect perform their own “art” of therapy right before my eyes, and getting the privilege of learning from them wasn’t where the growth opportunities ended…then there was also getting to receive feedback from colleagues on how they experienced my interventions and style of therapy during the session, and how they observed the clients to have responded to me as a therapist. Being praised for the way I intervened with a couple I was doing co-therapy with by a colleague who had been a therapist since before I was born was probably one of the most confidence-building and anxiety reducing moments in my first year or so at this job; she said she was learning so much from doing co-therapy with me!! Pretty sure my jaw dropped. I was FULLY there to learn from her (and nervously throw in something helpful whenever I thought I had something useful to say) because I hadn’t ever worked with couples before in my career! Anyway, needless to say I didn’t think my colleague could even learn from me with my years of experience in comparison to hers; but moments like these, occurring within the context of a wonderful work environment and brilliantly skilled colleagues, are primary contributors to my later working with couples in co-therapy with other colleagues, independently, and then as a mentor to trainees wanting to get some experience working with couples in therapy. Similarly went my process with providing group therapy services. I got to learn and grow from a colleague, while they learned/grew from me, while we supported one another through supporting clients through profound and vulnerable therapeutic work and change processes!! It’s like squeezing the juice out of the lemon of being a therapist! This provided me so many valuable lessons, including the relationship mirroring and feedback to see myself most clearly as a therapist and develop my approach to the science and art of psychotherapy.
Madalyn, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
Sure! My name is Madalyn Conetta and I am a psychotherapist; Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state of Florida, to be most specific. I have been working as a therapist since completing my master’s degree in social work at Florida State University in 2009. I started my own private practice part-time in Tallahassee, FL in May 2023, and fully transitioned away from college counseling center work and into full-time self-employment in private practice in January 2024. My cozy office is sweetly nestled away, yet centrally located in downtown Tallahassee. My approach is genuine & warm. Authenticity informs my style and helps my clients feel comfortable quickly; this tends to expedite the work and allow clients to make more efficient use of therapy services. I have experience treating a variety of concerns, and specialize in treating complex trauma & related attachment/relational difficulties. I serve couples and adult/individual clients, and trauma is a primary presenting concern for many of my clients. I am trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, a form of treatment that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences through bilateral brain stimulation (connecting right and left sides of the brain so your brain can appropriately file away disturbing memories that remain “unfiled” or unprocessed). This is a primary modality I use in my practice with therapy clients, along with psychodynamic and interpersonal process approaches. For relationship concerns, I often use attachment-based and emotion-focused approaches for assisting individuals or couples to better understand their feelings and experiences to improve connection to self & others; enhance communication; and reduce problematic interaction patterns. My clients may have difficulties trusting others, setting boundaries, or getting needs met in relationships. So that’s what I do! It’s my favorite thing in the world to do, and I feel so privileged to get to do it every day for work. I refer to my clients as my “favorite humans” because they are so bravely and beautifully showing up to do the hard work of seeing themselves and others most clearly in order to live their best lives and love themselves and others well.
I’ve wanted to be a therapist for as long as I can remember. My mom died when I was just shy of 8 months old of a freak medical thing that took a 22-23 y/o from normal and healthy to gone in just a couple of months. This is probably the biggest contributor to my becoming a therapist and a helping professional. It’s weird to have the death of a parent define your life in such a way that I cannot recall when I learned my name was Madalyn or that I am Puerto Rican, or that my mom had died when I was a baby…it was just something I “always knew.” The very private experience of having this defining quality- that almost no one in my kid sphere could relate to and that isn’t much spoken about (since she died years before I would have had the capacity to, or interest in, speaking about it much)- made for a weird depth to my existential processing at a young age. I was deeply empathic far before knowing the word [“empathic”] or it’s meaning, and had a deep interest in understanding why some people suffer more and others less; I wanted to talk to grown ups more than to peers; and I wanted to understand emotions and what people were experiencing on the inside along with the emotions I could feel oozing out of them on the [figurative] outside. As most people can imagine, no one in my family was a massive fan of being questioned about their adult experiences/emotions/stressors by little “Maddie,” also known for being able to carry on conversation without end. I found myself ever seeking more…depth, emotion, understanding, insight, connection, meaning…wanting to figure it out- as if that was possible. My life experiences, and later my work experiences, would go on to teach me [even though it took me a while to catch on] that there is no figuring it out! I was determined to try for a while though…so a degree in psychology was not shocking to anyone.
In reflecting on my career and life thus far, and feedback I’ve received from clients and friends, I think showing up as an open/honest human in the therapy space is what sets me apart. I feel comfortable in my role as a therapist and in my own vulnerability. It makes it easier for people to feel comfortable and let their guard down. I also think humor is a nice touch in therapy (and in life); so I will often integrate humor into my relationships- not excluding therapeutic relationships with clients.
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
I would ABSOLUTELY choose the same profession, 1000x over. I truly love what I do and feel so fortunate to be able to do it. It feels like a true honor to form relationships with clients and be a part of their healing in the way I get to be; on top of that, getting to witness the resilience, growth, change, and healing process of amazing humans!! It’s a privilege to have any part of it! It wasn’t until about 10 years into my career that I realized I had a gift for working specifically with those struggling with attachment difficulties. I love getting to serve as a secure and safe base for clients as they unlearn painful and ineffective patterns and learn how it feels to experience a safe and steady relationship where they can be fully seen and known, and accepted. Then seeing this provide them a template from which they can improve their relationship to self and their relationships with others. EMDR has enhanced my practice so much, particularly with trauma and other “stuck” points in client’s lives, that I only wish I had gotten trained sooner because it feels like this magic wand that I could have used to help more people sooner if I had only obtained it. It doesn’t stop amazing me as I see clients resolving so many difficult, traumatic, and painful feelings. Plus I was sure to experience the EMDR magic (my words, not official in any way) as a client myself before ever getting trained to be an EMDR therapist myself.
Being on the inside of so many stories of human suffering (and joy too) and all the messiness of the human experience has definitely helped me continue to develop my wit and sense of humor, though! So I fantasize [aloud, of course] about writing a book or doing standup comedy some day; my friends and clients sure bring on the encouragement whenever I mention it! Either it’s because I’m truly funny or.….because I’m hilarious *wink* haha!
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
This question sounds so business-y and makes me chuckle because I don’t feel like a savvy business woman at all! I do, however, know myself to be a pretty awesome therapist. I would have felt weird saying it so bluntly in a less confident time of my life/career but my clients, colleagues, and supervisors have let the secret out to me until I finally believed them. I am so grateful for those who contributed to my knowing, confidently, that I am good at this therapy thing…I may have never taken the leap to private practice otherwise. Now that I’ve done it, I have been asked again and again how I have grown so quickly and kept such a full practice since I started. I think the main reason is word of mouth. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I have a reputation, as I kept getting clients calling saying that their friend either saw me or sees me for therapy. In my years working as a clinician on a college campus in this city, apparently the word got out that I can help people heal and get unstuck…get the outcomes they want from therapy. Being in the same city since my graduate training helps too; I’m very extroverted and work hard to keep up my relationships with many people. Lastly, working in a brief therapy model at a college counseling center also helped me develop therapeutic skills to bring forth change pretty quickly; this has made me a pretty outcome-focused therapist. I don’t want my clients to see me forever and continue to feel the same way they felt when we started; I want to help people get to the root of the issue, and get freed up. I show up authentically, as a whole person, and honor the work that clients come to me to do by committing myself to the therapeutic relationship and to their desired outcomes throughout our work together. Also, we laugh a good bit in my therapy sessions because life is too hard for us not to be laughing!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/madalyn-conetta-tallahassee-fl/1114330
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/madalynconetta.lcsw/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092464203195
Image Credits
Kimberly Bechtel