We were lucky to catch up with David Cooke recently and have shared our conversation below.

David, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to have you retell us the story behind how you came up with the idea for your business, I think our audience would really enjoy hearing the backstory.

The idea for starting my business wasn’t really a well thought out plan. A little over twenty years ago, I predicted to my wife over breakfast that my boss was going to fire me at the meeting we had scheduled that day. As a Human Resources professional, she was convinced that couldn’t happen because no procedural activities had occurred prior to this meeting. As I left home that morning, I was confident otherwise to what was going to happen.

As predicted the meeting was a termination meeting. It was a bad leadership decision on my boss’ part. But, it was his business and he had the authority to make those type of decisions, bad or not.

When I got in the car, I called my wife and informed her I had been terminated. When she asked me what I was going to do now, my response was “I don’t know, but I am never working for anyone ever again.” That was when I got the “idea” for my business.

While I didn’t have a plan or vision or a solid idea, I did have a commitment. And, from this commitment my business was formed.

Having been a senior executive with an extensive sales and business development background, my initial venture focused around what I knew most, helping businesses grow efficiently. What I discovered early on in this venture is I really had no energy for sales or poor leadership. The latter is probably the reason I was terminated a few times in my career. Because so many people saw “sales guy” in my personality and relationship building style, I dabbled in providing guidance and coaching to sales people. I was reasonably successful for ten years and managed to cobble together an income that paid the bills and sustained a nice lifestyle. Other than the gift of independence from having a job, there wasn’t much passion in my work and it was relatively unfulfilling. But I persevered because my commitment to not having to work for anyone was greater than anything else.

About ten years into my consultancy, my youngest child developed a substance abuse problem. His drug of choice was heroin. His addiction took me, my business, and my career on an entirely different trajectory. Its long story. In essence, I spent the next twenty four months, at the expense of everything, trying to love, coach, rescue, save my son. My business suffered, my health suffered, my relationships suffered. Until one night I realized how much my life had become consumed and impacted by his behaviors.

It was then my life really changed. In that moment of clarity, I made a commitment to regain control of my life. I challenged myself to better understand what I was asking of my son – commit to do something for the rest of his life, that he cannot even do for one day. I challenged myself to ride my bicycle for an hour a day for one hundred consecutive days. I had no idea if I could do it. I picked one hundred days because that seemed to be a reasonably comparable challenge to asking him to commit to a lifetime of recovery.

Off I went on my one hundred day challenge. I successfully completed the consecutive rides. Never missed a beat or a day. I kept a journal of my experiences. In relation to my son’s addiction, I was in an entirely different place by the end of this challenge. The meditative energy in a hour on the bike, every day, was and is incredibly powerful. I turned the responsibility for recovery over to my son as it was his responsibility all along. And, I started sharing words of encouragement and wisdom to parents in similar situations across the country.

I eventually formed a non-profit organization, 100Pedals, to support, coach, educate parents. I went on several cross country cycling trips, including cycling all of Route 66 from Santa Monica, CA to Chicago, giving talks along the way, to create awareness to the issue and offer hope to parents consumed as I once was by their child’s substance abuse issues.

The more I worked with parents and shared the wisdom of my experiences, I soon realized I was actually teaching parents how to build better relationships with their child and themselves. Even though really detest the word “sales,” I was teaching the parents how to “sell.”

I was never a good fundraiser and a lot of my work was self-funded and eventually my work with 100Pedals came to an end. Besides the fact I drained my retirement account living my passion, I also got burned out living in the middle of these parents struggles as well as my own. While I am quite fortunate my son is still alive, unfortunately his substance abuse issues are still active, as well.

Inspired by the experiences and lessons in this journey, I came to realize what my true passion was. I love helping others find what they are looking for. I am a passionate problem solver. That is why I don’t like “sales.” Sales to me is finding ways to get people to do something they may or may not want to do – buy from me. On the other hand, relationship building is about developing a connection of awareness, trust and support to help people find answers or solutions to the challenges in their life or business.

Eighteen years after starting my consulting practice with a commitment, I now knew what my business, my purpose and my passions are all about. Today, my business focuses on helping people listen to and learn from each other. To collaborate more effectively, to navigate conflict by asking great questions, and to focus on listening to the other person without judgement, criticism or interruption. I teach leaders how to be the leader their team needs them to be, not the leader they think they need to be. Its a model built on selflessness. And, it reflects a passionate commitment emanating a life of effective experience.

I didn’t have a great idea then, but my commitment to how I wanted to live my life, brought me to the great idea, eventually.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I am the founder of The Cooke Group, LLC, a consulting practice dedicated to helping individuals and businesses enhance their communication skills and solve complex problems through effective listening. Originally from the Detroit, MI area, I now reside in Scottsdale, AZ. My journey as a listening consultant stem from a life-long passion for exploring with curiosity what drives, inspires, and guides people and how that makes them who they are; plus, how their life experiences and beliefs have influenced their development. This passion, combined with my extensive background in sales, business development, and various executive responsibilities, led me to establish The Cooke Group, LLC.

At The Cooke Group, LLC, I offer a range of services including business consulting, coaching, and workshops focused on improving communication. My approach centers around shifting individuals’ listening behaviors to help them and their teams build trust, enhance relationships, and foster a receptive, collaborative environment. I believe that effective listening is the cornerstone of successful communication and effective problem-solving outcomes.

What sets The Cooke Group, LLC apart is our unique focus on listening and the impact it has on traditional corporate culture and hierarchical behaviors. The process, known as Selfless Listening, is centered around listening deeply, with acceptance and curiosity, to facilitate a safe space for others to freely share their beliefs and experiences without judgment, criticism, or interruption. This approach helps individuals learn from the experiences of others and how those experiences influence their life choices and behaviors. Once people feel heard, respected, and understood, Selfless Listening fosters a more powerful collaborative approach to problem-solving, leadership, and strategic planning. Understanding an issue from the perspective and experience of all those involved provides teams with a greater opportunity to truly understand what the issue is and develop a solution that efficiently and effectively addresses it.

One of my proudest achievements is how Selfless Listening has shifted behaviors and relationships both within the corporate environment and among parents and families. While the practice of love and acceptance may not be conventional corporate lingo, Selfless Listening integrates these committed behaviors into the business world minus the vocabulary words. I have come to appreciate the shift this creates for both parents and leaders as they focus on being the parent or leader their children or teams need them to be, rather than being the parent or leader they think they need to be. This behavioral shift has enabled both parents and leaders to better understand what is being asked of them and why, encouraging others to trust and follow them based on their commitment to engage in knowledge-based decision-making behaviors.

The activities related to parents and families are inspired by my own experiences with my youngest child’s substance abuse issues. This is now a fourteen-year journey with my son’s heroin addiction. Thankfully, he is alive, though he is still active in his substance abuse. This journey helped me discover the power of love and acceptance in a relationship. While the outcome was not recovery, the result is that my son and I can still share a loving, honest relationship with each other. Unconditional love isn’t easy, but it is a gift for those who practice and receive it.

As I look to the future, my main goals are to continue sharing my passion for Selfless Listening. I host a podcast, “Stop Telling and Start Listening,” which models the behaviors of listening and learning as I interview guests from all walks of life with various perspectives, beliefs, and opinions. Additionally, I am in the process of hosting a series of retreats around the world in partnership with my primary yoga instructor. These retreats are designed to help people find peace in the stillness of a crazy world and our individual chaotic lives.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

A little over twelve years ago, I founded a non-profit to provide education and support for parents struggling with a child’s substance abuse issue. This program stemmed from my experiences with my youngest child’s heroin addiction. Although I wasn’t an effective fundraiser, my passion, commitment, and personal financial resources sustained the program for many years. I wrote a couple of books, bicycled across the country on speaking and awareness tours, coached numerous parents through incredibly difficult times, and sadly, lost a few children to their addiction.

About five years ago, I reached a breaking point. The work, financial strain, stress, and burnout took a heavy toll on me. I realized I couldn’t continue and needed time to heal and do something different. During the subsequent holiday season, I worked as a temporary UPS delivery person, loading my van and climbing thousands of stairs delivering packages. This physical and mental break made it clear that I needed my own recovery.

After the holidays, I wrote the most authentic and transparent email of my life to friends, clients, and contacts. I shared my journey, my wife’s struggle with finding a job, and my vision for the next chapter of my career: teaching people how to listen more effectively through my new program, Selfless Listening.
The response was incredible, with overwhelming support and encouragement. One former client wanted to know more about the program.

About a month later, this client came to town for a mini-vacation, and we met. They loved the message and mission of the Selfless Listening program and scheduled a session with their leadership team.

That was five years ago. Today, that client has become the largest, most enjoyable, and successful client of my entire career. I’ve worked with their entire organization on better communication, relationship-building behaviors, and listening skills. It has been the greatest gift and experience.

The biggest takeaway from this pivot can be connected to three actions:
1. Honesty with Myself: I recognized that what I was doing wasn’t working. I didn’t judge it as a success or failure but simply acknowledged its impact on me.
2. Confidence in My Offering: I identified what I had to offer in this new direction. I didn’t know exactly how it would unfold but believed I had something valuable to give and decided to share it.
3. Authenticity: I was transparent and honest about who I was, where I was, and what I had to offer. Being authentic is something many people struggle with, yet it’s what everyone is looking for. In being my honest, clear, and authentic self, I was able to make a healthy and successful pivot in both my life and career.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I sometimes feel like my entire life is about resilience. While many people perceive my energy, gregarious nature, and bold, carefree demeanor as exuding confidence, I often feel like I’ve spent most of my life grinding things out. I know I am disciplined, driven, and focused, at times. I have big dreams, goals, and aspirations, but my greatest critic is the voice inside me, which brings a dangerous, sometimes toxic mix of both determination and disappointment.

A prime example of my resilience is my experience with my non-profit organization, 100Pedals. Founded to provide education and support for parents struggling with a child’s substance abuse issue, the program emanated from my own experiences with my youngest child’s heroin addiction. Despite not being an effective fundraiser, my passion and commitment, combined with my personal financial resources, sustained the program for many years. I wrote books, cycled across the country on awareness tours, and coached numerous parents through incredibly difficult times. I even endured the heartbreaking loss of a few children to their addiction.

Throughout this journey, I never gave up on the non-profit. I always believed in the calling, mission, purpose, and program. Yes, I self-funded it and nearly went broke, spending my entire retirement savings to sustain it. But I trusted and believed in the work. My resilience reflects my inner drive, supported by my commitment to something I believe in. Sometimes the path or the answer isn’t always clear, but when I decide “there has to be a way” and commit to it, I spend as much time as possible working towards that goal.

This was the case with 100Pedals until I simply burned out. Despite knowing there was a way, I couldn’t find it anymore. I don’t see this as a failure, but rather as finding a different way to continue the mission through my business, the Selfless Listening program. This shift allowed me to continue helping others, building on the same purpose and offering.

My resilience story is one of relentless perseverance, driven by a commitment to mission and purpose. Even when the path changed, the purpose remained, demonstrating that resilience is not just about enduring but also about evolving and finding new ways to fulfill one’s mission.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.thecookegroupllc.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedavidcooke/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheDavidCooke
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidcooke/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/The_David_Cooke
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBbw4mcT1fFxydchOvtBnyQ
• Other: https://feeds.libsyn.com/497338/spotify