We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Carla Khair. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Carla below.
Hi Carla, thanks for joining us today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
It feels like my life has been a sequence of risk-taking events, and when times are tough, I look back at steps already taken to re-energize myself and keep going.
My dream of studying abroad was not fulfilled during college, but I did not rest.
In early 1995 there was an unusual job trend in Brazil with recently graduating engineers moving to alternative markets such as audit, finance and other consulting industries. Those were careers with promising high-paying jobs and I, like others, quickly jumped on that bandwagon. The second largest Brazilian bank at that time launched an enticing trainee program to develop young executives. I applied for the job, eventually getting hired.
This bank program enabled the trainee to spend a year and a half rotating throughout various crucial positions within the bank, and then joining the Corporate Bank as an Account Executive. My personal life during the 4.5 years I worked at that Brazilian bank was filled with studying English, backpacking abroad, and maintaining an otherwise frugal lifestyle to save for Graduate school abroad. There was also enough time to learn Spanish, after I fell in love with Spain in one of my backpacking trips in 1997.
If that was not enough, not sure why, but as a silly bet with my father, I applied and was admitted (in first place) to Law School. My father himself went to Law School after decades as a medical doctor. So I went through half of Law School just FOR FUN. However, the 2-year routine of traveling for work, studying English every day and going to law school at night became unnecessarily exhausting. Honestly, I have no regrets for those tough years, because they were surprisingly fun (??) and gave me basic law foundation that helped me a few times in my life. Maybe I will finish that Law degree one day.
After the 1998 world crisis, the Brazilian currency severely depreciated against the dollar, Since my savings were in Brazilian currency, it kept reducing over time. I had to move fast, so in 1999 it was time to apply for Graduate School, before I continued to lose more savings, and possibly my dream to study abroad.
I had narrowed down my options between Fontainebleau (France) and California (US). California was an easy choice, with a booming economy and a myriad of opportunities for those who worked hard, like I did.
I wished I had more time to study English, because I was not ready for the English proficiency and Business School admittance tests. I failed to reach the minimum scores three times and was getting progressively more nervous after each time, but then a miracle happened.
The fourth round of tests was a combination of a near-perfect Math score offsetting sub-par English and essay scores; and just like that, I achieved minimum admission requirements to my school of choice.
I told my family I was moving to California to attend school, and hopped on a plane a week after I told them. My poor parents cried like babies, and my heart was crushed too.
Everything I had saved was enough to take extra English classes and put myself through Grad school.
Today this proud CSUN/MBA alumni with a 29-year finance career spawning in 2 different countries has not become a French citizen…yet.
My family remains in Brazil, aside from my dad who passed away and the family I have established here on my own.
This year, as I celebrate 25 years as an immigrant, I still miss my birth country, sometimes feeling misplaced in this magnificent country, but mostly feeling very fortunate for life, love, and dreams.
I am glad to share my immigration stories with close friends, my partner, my children, and now you.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I fell in love with fiber craft watching my aunt crochet when I was nine years old. Seeing the cotton thread slide through the 1.5 millimeters steel crochet hooks, as my aunt Lourdes systematically counted stitches to form repeating patterns looked like magic to me! After hours watching her crochet, I asked my aunt if I could borrow one of her crochet hooks. She taught me the basic motions, and it took a lot of practice until I learned how to fashion clothes for my dolls. I never stopped crocheting after that.
With aunt Lourdes I also learned tatting, nanduti, sewing, and knitting. I still love tatting, and I became proficient in two tatting techniques. However, I do not tat as often as I crochet. I can sew well if I have to, but I do not enjoy doing it. Nanduti (ancient Paraguayan lace-making) is not a portable craft, it was already a rare craft growing up and I believe it still is nowadays. As for
knitting…I not a big fan of it, but do it sometimes.
Crochet has always been more than a hobby in my life. I resort to my crochet hooks for mental comfort, for intellectual challenge, for enhanced mindfulness and focus. Since crochet makes me feel at home wherever I go, I take it with me often on my travels.
A funny story…as a young adult starting to have romantic relationships, when these relationships eventually ended, my heart was broken. As a coping mechanism after one breakup, I challenged myself to learn a new crochet style and to turn a negative experience (a breakup) into a positive outcome (a new craft). Ouch…I unfortunately became proficient in Irish crochet, broomstick crochet, crochet fillet, hairpin lace crochet, seamless crochet, and when I ran out of new crochet styles to learn, I learned cross-stitch. I never got to learn hardanger, which I will probably do without my heart being broken, because I already found my soulmate.
Every single crochet piece I have ever crafted was either mine or graciously gifted, never sold. I share my patterns and ideas for free, and help other artisans when needed.
Unless I am working, a crochet hook and thread can be found in my purse if idle time is anticipated. Yes, I am that person you see crocheting in school meetings, doctors’ offices, DMV, passenger seats, public transportation, and maybe in boring parties (oops, sorry)…crochet is not a mere hobby, crochet is a lifelong partnership between my hands and my brain.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Born in a suburban non-affluent neighborhood in Rio De Janeiro (Brazil) to a doctor and a homemaker, I remember when our family moved to Paris for my dad’s internship in microbiology. I was a toddler babbling mixed sentences in both Portuguese and French, and this early exposure to a different culture, language, and food was likely the initial spark for a lifelong quest for more adventures.
Our family life in Paris was far from extravagant, and when my mom became pregnant with my brother, we had to move back to Brazil. Throughout the rest of my childhood in Rio, I kept dreaming about adulthood abroad. A family with limited to no wealth meant I had to propel that dream with my own means. I had my brain and an unstoppable drive, and that was enough.
At the age of nine, I asked one of my school nuns if she could teach me French after class, and a year later I joined L’Alliance Francaise for a formal French course. At 16 years old, my French studies ended as I passed the French proficiency/fluency tests ministered by the French Consulate in Rio.
At the age of 17, I applied and was admitted to the top three engineering schools in my country, and I moved out from home to attend the well-known University of Sao Paulo in Brazil. As a young college freshman in 1991, I realized that “fitting in” was not as seamless as I thought it would be. There were not a lot of people from my state attending that school, and about 10% of my peers being women. That feeling of shyness coupled with being self-consciousness during college still gives me some (now rare) nightmares about those years.
Graduating with my engineering credentials in 1994, I vividly recall applying for a job and the employer openly declining to accept women applicants. Such an unpleasant surprise did not stop me. It was a pivotal moment in my professional life, fueling a career change that would eventually take me abroad.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
When I learn something new, I become aware of a multitude of unknown related things. As time goes by, I feel less and less knowledgeable.
For someone who wants to listen to others, a simple casual conversation teaches them something new and unexpected, building up or conflicting with their prior knowledge pool. How refreshing to be constantly learning from each other!
I remain knowledge thirsty. The pursuit of knowledge keeps my brain curious, maintains high morale, and encourages me to contribute to the world with positive actions.
I am fluent in four languages, earned a civil engineer degree and an MBA, and studied law, accounting, astronomy, and currently philosophy – but I am not done learning.
I don’t think I will ever be done.
Contact Info:
- Other: My social media is private
Image Credits
Original fotos of myself, crochet designs and street in Paris.