We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jessica Van Roekel a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Jessica thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
Rejection had a hold on my life. I expected it, anticipated it, and experienced it repeatedly. I thought I needed to overcome it or eliminate it from my life so I tried being perfect which didn’t work because I couldn’t be perfect for everybody. Then, I tried pushing people away, but isolation wasn’t good for my mental health. I also tried to control people’s perception of me, which felt like I was spinning plates that were about drop. Finally, I took a chance and looked at rejection differently. Instead of seeing it as a bully in my life, I decided to treat it as a teacher. This meant I had to leave behind my decades long dance with rejection–my fear of it, my vices to protect my heart, and my perfectionism to avoid it. It was a huge risk with an even bigger payoff. I discovered how rejection didn’t create one wound, but three wounds–with others, with myself, and with God. Because I took the risk to face rejection and go toe-to-toe with my disordered view of it, I am a stronger emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I no longer let perfectionism drive people-pleasing ways and I have become settled in my identity as a woman of God who encourage other Christ-followers to trust God with their past hurts.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I have always been enamored with words. Stories transported me to far-away lands and cultures, both present and past, and were the refuge my little girl heart needed. Reading words turned into writing them. I discovered the power of words turned into pearls on a string to bring beauty and hope to hurting hearts. There are times when we cannot find the words to express our deepest pain, regret, joy, or peace so we turn to authors and writers who capture the essence of our experiences on the page. I began Welcome Grace Ministries ten years ago after I experienced a painful rejection in a decade long friendship. I silenced my voice because I was afraid rejection would spread like a disease to my other friendships. But as I processed rejection through a different perspective, I discovered how rejection is a tool to help us change our lives for the better. Since I am an author and worship pastor, my heartbeat is for my congregation and other Christians to grow in their relationship with God. This requires a letting go or a rejecting of behaviors and thought patters which keep us from spiritual maturity. Out of my experiences with rejection, my book, Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything was born. I want people to know their painful past experiences don’t have to define their today or determine their tomorrow. By welcoming God’s grace into our lives, we can experience the healing and freedom we long for.
What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?
This may sound strange, but I love a good dictionary and thesaurus. I love exploring the nuances of word meanings to find the best word to express a thought or paint a picture in a reader’s mind. It’s a little like Goldilocks and the Three Bears–some words are too big and some too little, but there will always be one that it “just right.” The other most rewarding aspect of being a creative is when someone says to me, “You must have a mirror in my house, because you expressed exactly how I’m feeling.” or after a worship set someone will share how they sang the songs all week because the lyrics touched their heart.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Resilience is such an important quality to develop, but it doesn’t develop without resistance. Between my childhood family dysfunction and my own battles with rejection, I’ve developed grit. Feeling unwanted can lead to blaming others and playing the victim rather than choosing to rise above and be victorious. I’ve tasted both and being a victim to circumstances or bad choices led to bitterness and resentment. I shriveled from the inside out and viewed life through a skewed lens. Living as a victim painted everyone and everything out to get me, but choosing to be an overcomer led to strength and the ability to get back up again when life knocked me down. Resilience causes me to flourish even in less than ideal circumstances.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://welcomegrace.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessica.vanroekel/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessicavanroekel.author
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC95IGRLVBwx5vYX6R2hwApg
