We recently connected with Ashley Durden and have shared our conversation below.

Ashley, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

My work with teens honestly fell into my lap. Have you ever heard the saying “I did choose the calling, the calling chose me?” That is really how I began my first steps into teaching and educating teens. Although I had an educational background, I did not truly know a lot about teens, puberty, teen behaviors, etc. I did however work with these girls before they were teenagers during the time I lived and worked at the orphanage they grew up in. So these teens and I had a bond already and deeply cared for them. That was my biggest motivator, to learn what I could in the space that I was in, to give and share the resources I had with them. During this time it was expected that any education/mentoring that happened fell in line with the vision and mission of that orphanage. This meant that I wasn’t able to educate the teens completely on the topics of puberty, provide full and inclusive health/sex education discussion, talk about consent, gender, sex, etc. Topics that I now know are necessary and very beneficial for teens to have all the information.
Looking back, I don’t even think I would have known how to address these topics even if I had the space to do so but I knew someone should be giving the discussion on these topics, and in a way that was an open brave space so that the teens felt safe to ask questions. It did not truly click with me that, I was that someone until a few years later via a Facebook post and a moment of clarity.
As time passed, I returned back to Dallas and kept in contact with all my teens from Mexico. I began virtual meetings and podcasts in order to still show up for them and be a mentor. Even though my mentoring was now outside of the orphanage, I was still very much mentoring as if I still had those limitations on what education I could bring to the teens.
It wasn’t until I jumped on Facebook one day and saw a long post by one of the teens I had helped raise, watch leave the orphanage and grow up shared that she like her mom would be a single mother. She would write to express that although she tried to not end up here she would make sure to do better for her daughter. You could hear the fear of being a new mother, the fear of people’s judgment but also the hope and excitement she had. I wondered, if I would have been more outspoken about talking to the teens about sex ed would she be making that post. I wondered if I had pushed back, followed my gut, and educated those teens if almost more than half that have left the orphanage and became pregnant or got their girlfriend pregnant would be in a different spot than they are now.
I quickly took to the keyboard and commented under her post. I celebrated her new joy, her bravery, reminded her of who she is and the amazing mother she will become, and also reminded her that I was a resource as well as some other connections I had back in Mexico. Then she preceded to tell me how glad she was that I wasn’t disappointed and how she didn’t reach out to the adults in the orphanage because she felt she would be met with judgment. Now that broke my heart and sadly is very common not only in this situation but also in homes all over the world.
That was the moment that I had to stop and ask myself what was I doing? I had to really look at the little I was providing to my teens. I needed to change my mindset on what I wanted to educate teens on, how to present it, and how to also educate parents/leaders. I realized it wasn’t just about having more real teen topics to educate and mentor on but also having space to help and educate parents too. Because as much as we think we can do it all and do it all perfectly alone, it really does take a village.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I have been in education for over 10 years both formally – in schools – and informally – through tutoring, and working in orphanages and non-profit organizations. After graduating with my degree in Elementary Education in 2012, I took a big leap and moved to Juarez, Mexico to live and serve in an orphanage.

During my time in Mexico, I realized that teaching in the traditional classroom was not for me. I was more drawn to supporting my students in making social, emotional, and intellectual growth.

In 2017, I decided to jump into my passion with full force and start serving pre-teen and teen girls in the community. Before I knew it I was leading anywhere from 9-20 girls. Soon I founded El Bosque (The Forest) ministry in Juarez. I planned events, hosted study sessions for school, and coordinated community service, just to name a few things. My goal was to give the girls a safe space to talk, ask questions, or just feel free to be themselves, while also creating healthy communication habits between parents and their daughters. I realized how much I not only wanted to mentor pre-teen and teen girls but also support parents in better understanding their teens and help them create stronger bonds.

Fast forward to 2020. I took to the nets and started El Bosque + (PLUS). The same heart and vision but just a little extra “umph!”

I work to support teens in areas like healthy sexuality, puberty, self-esteem/self-worth, DEI, organization skills, and much more.

El Bosque + is about me enriching teens through this time in their lives and helping them live life (now) by putting their best foot forward. My teens always leave our time: learning something new, a self-development tool to use, and a “self-challenge” activity.

Parents, there’s room for you too. We are a team and we work together to navigate this phase we call the Teenage Years. I support my parents by having sessions for bonding and relationship-building activities. I also talk about topics struggle with talking to their teens about and help them have the tools to have those conversations themselves.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

When I moved to Mexico I knew very basic Spanish. By the time I started El Bosque in 2017, I still did not feel confident in my Spanish. I wanted to make sure when I mentored and talked to my teens, I made grammatical sense and that I was pronouncing my words clearly enough. So for the first year of mentoring in Mexico, all my lessons were practiced beforehand. I wrote everything out word for word. I had friends check my grammar and vocabulary. I would then read through it several times with my family to make sure it made sense. By the time I went to teach, do a talk, or mentor a group–everything was memorized. It would take me 3-4days of just reading and memorizing a message or class. It took 2 days to just write it. I really wanted to make sure I was teaching with excellence which meant speaking clearly and confidently with my teens. I also had to speak in front of large groups and knowing my Spanish wasn’t perfect. That was hard and uncomfortable at times but I knew I needed to. One of the hardest things I had to bounce back from was leaving Mexico. I had to leave my teens, my work and a small group of individuals that I love. I had to replant roots in Dallas and rebuild what El Bosque would look like now that I’m no longer in Mexico. I had to relearn cultural relationships between parents and teens because although there are similarities in different cultures there are big differences as well between families in the States vs families in Mexico. I also had to relearn parent-to-mentor dynamics and relationships and other things that change how I communicate and work within the different cultures and intersectionalities.
I also took a big swing and decided to have my mentor business open to everyone, whereas in Mexico, in the community I was in, it wasn’t really acceptable for a woman to lead a group of teenage boys. So I went from focusing on Latina teen girls within “El Bosque” events to opening my mentorship in “El Bosque plus” to all cultures, genders, ethnicities, religions, etc. As I grow and learn, so does my work. As I grow and learn, so does the reach of the teens and their families that I hope to help and support.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

The biggest thing that I know leads to successfully helping teens and families is having resources. There are resources out there but sometimes it can become overwhelming for parents to know where to begin or some don’t even know they have access to them. Having someone to lead you to what you need can make a big difference in that teen and/or family’s life.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.chatswithash.co/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/el_bosque_plus/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ashley.n.durden
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWa-wZdRofIeSsH_LhrH8-Q