We recently connected with Michelle Drummy and have shared our conversation below.
Michelle, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you tell us about a time that your work has been misunderstood? Why do you think it happened and did any interesting insights emerge from the experience?
The amount of actual physical artwork that I’ve produced throughout my life is pretty small, for someone who got two degrees in fine arts and has always considered herself to be an artist. While art can be defined as self expression, my art has been defined as the search for self and until the past year, expressing myself has been the biggest difficulty I’ve faced. I have employed psychology, neuroscience, and other sciences to shape my understanding of who I am and art has been a documentation of this journey, more of a means to an end. Even though I don’t know that I would have called myself broken, the pursuit of a fix has been the main motivation behind my research and artmaking. Like many in my generation, I was raised with food to eat, a roof and opportunities for education and hobbies, but anxiety and depression were constant in my life. It was so difficult to understand why because I was accomplishing and overachieving in the ways I thought I was supposed to be. Throughout adulthood, I often would find myself unable to go to the grocery store to buy the necessary groceries to feed myself, but also working three jobs, taking classes and juggling a full social life.
The pandemic transformed my life in ways that were in my control and others that were beyond my comprehension. January 2020 saw me teaching art full-time at a high school I’d been at for 6 years, nearing the halfway mark of my MFA at SDSU and in a relationship. A year and a half later, I would be graduating with a 9 month old baby bump and a husband. It’s hard to identify the massive life change that felt the most impactful at the time, but I can say now, without hesitation, that my son was the most transformative influence in my life- a title which he will hold forever.
Being the parent of a toddler makes me a freshman of parenthood and I don’t intend to speak with any kind of authority on the subject. The personal transformation that he inspired in me, however, is one that I have documented in messy, inconsistent ways, tracking my evolution into the new breed I have become. This period of time brought me to the very person I was looking to find in every painting and drawing I made, as I uncovered my inner child. This process was devastating as I navigated the loss of my old self through parenting and reparenting, through identification of mystery chronic illnesses, and through the illumination of the neurodivergent brain that evaded detection and diagnosis my entire life. My life has been completely turned upside down and while I am still sorting through the trauma-laced pieces to build a new one, I am deeply grateful for the love and compassion I’ve learned to give myself as a result.
I haven’t made any work since I finished my thesis in 2021 with my son hiccuping inside of me and I used to feel behind and frustrated by that. But this adventure has been my finest form of self expression and I am now looking forward to seeing the art that follows this pivotal validation of a new species, the artist that motherhood has made of me.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I am an artist and high school art teacher born and raised in San Diego. I attended undergrad for fine arts at UCSB in 2010 and recently earned my MFA with an emphasis in painting from San Diego State. I teach at a local high school where I have been for 10 years and previously taught art lessons to kids for 4 years while working at an art gallery and coffee shop.
My art has been an investigation into my brain and psychology, where I have used painting, drawing, collage and photography to gain deeper understandings of the most confusing and painful parts of myself. I am neurodivergent and receiving a diagnosis at age 34 was life changing for me, in both beautiful and grief-filled ways. I am dedicated to sharing my experiences to help others embrace their own brain wiring because of the huge impact it’s had on my life.
My partner is an exceptionally talented chef who has his own art practice in the form of fine-dining projects, the current one being Two Ducks dinner series. I have an incredible toddler who has made my life full and silly and challenging, but overflowing with love. My ride or die is a 12 year-old mini dachshund with two different colored-eyes named Penny.
My current project is focused on how to live my life in a creative way, preparing for flow and inspiration to come and establishing a daily practice. I am learning how to do basic things like form routines while also planning and researching for my first important art piece since grad school and my son. I’m seeking balance, as I assume I always will be.
Are there any books, videos or other content that you feel have meaningfully impacted your thinking?
I have survived off of books, podcasts, instagram posts, facebook groups, and tik tok over the past four years. I was able to find community online to support every facet of my life from breast-feeding to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, from learning about the missed signs of ADHD and Autism in women to CPTSD and nervous system activation, from gentle parenting strategies to emotional regulation while reparenting, from astrology to the daily rituals of creatives- the list goes on and on.
If I have to narrow it down for this question, I’d say the top three most impactful books for my journey of self-discovery are Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Creative Act: A Way of Being by RIck Rubin. I’ve gone back to these countless times to find new insights and applied them to my life for the better.
One more major influence on my life the past few years has been the music artist Fred Again… and his tiny desk performance for NPR. His albums, Actual Life, which were diaries for his life that he expertly wove into a 26 minute set resonated on a level that no music ever has before in me. He came into my life at a time where I was desperately needing to feel emotions instead of intellectualizing them and I consider his music to be a form of therapy that helped me achieve a powerfully new sense of wellness.
What can society do to ensure an environment that’s helpful to artists and creatives?
Society can prioritize childcare, mental health resources, affordable healthcare and education and support for new mothers. I have many ideas on what is missing but neither the time nor the energy to affect change in these vital areas. I’m tired, sick and in survival mode and that’s precisely the point.
Oh, and more opportunities for artists to create and receive a living wage.
Contact Info:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: www.michelledrummy.com
- Instagram: michelledrummyart