We recently connected with Cynthia Frenette and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Cynthia, thanks for joining us today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?

I’ve done a few personal projects and a common element throughout them all was love. The love I felt for the subject or thing I was working on, loving learning something new, & putting my full heart into a piece or project and having it resonate with others.

I did a series of Instagram posts & art a couple of years ago about going no contact with my family of origin, being bullied and being a family scapegoat, and the effects it has on you.
All the things you have to deal with, and what you have to do for yourself in order to overcome it, heal, & thrive.

I heard from so many people who found comfort & a voice in what I shared, and who told me it had helped them in some way to make sense of their own situation, which were sometimes very eerily similar to mine. And to me, that’s why I do the work I do like that, to shine a light in the dark for others to see and find their people. People who understand and who see and hear them. Because everyone deserves to be seen and heard and loved.

I think I shared it for me to start, to get it out and be heard in my own way. But then it morphed into this thing and people said it helped them, and to me that just made my heart want to share and open more, so I rolled with it. And I still do. And I have found a tribe of like-minded people who all get it and understand. And that is just awesome.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I’ve always loved drawing and art since I was a little kid. Whenever somebody asked me “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer was always. “An artist!”

I took art and sewing all through high school with the intention to study fashion design, but at the last second I chose Graphic Design instead. And I am so glad I did!

I worked in the design industry, starting before computers, yeah I’m old, haha, and worked for different studios and agencies to learn the craft of design & the business. My first job out of college was at a tie-dye t-shirt print shop where I designed t-shirt motifs for various local businesses, surf shops and ski hills. All done by hand, by the way! What an experience to say the least!

Years later, I eventually got to the point of working for somebody else where I was running their business for them & it wasn’t fun anymore, and I knew I could do it on my own. So I made moves to put everything in place behind the scenes then started my own thing!

I’ve worked with clients all over the world, creating custom logos & branding, illustration, design collaterals, for awesome people like fashion & costume designers, authors, kids book authors, restaurants, retail shops, food companies, universities, government agencies, and so many more. I’m grateful for that journey as I learned so much!

Since then, my work has changed to be more art-focussed. I work with my agent and create art for greeting cards, puzzles, stickers, homeware, fabric, clothing, as well as maintaining my own print-on-demand shops on platforms like Spoonflower & RedBubble. I also create my own original art that I sell on my website- with swear words- yeah that’s kind of my own weird & hilarious little niche, lol. I find it hard to focus on doing just one thing because I love doing it all, & that’s ok! More is more in my world lol.

And I still work with some favourite long-time clients, and welcome new ones who resonate with my work & want to work with me.
I guess you could say I’m very multi-passionate and to me, and to my clients too, that’s a really good thing.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I started my art career as a graphic designer and have worked in that field for over 30 years now.

I worked my way up through art agencies and studios, and was pretty much running the last business I worked for when I decided it was time to go out on my own in 2006.
I had prepared and put away a good chunk of savings and also had a regular roster of clients that I had had for many years already, to keep me busy & bills paid.
All was great until one year when almost every single one of them (other than 3 who are still with me!) decided to close up shop all within the same 2-3 months! Some retired, closed their stores/businesses, some moved or changed directions, and some just flat out ghosted me. No reason given. Ouch.

I scrambled to find something to keep money coming in, but it was hard. Being older, design studios didn’t want me- I was over-qualified, they wanted new designers they could mold to their liking (yuck). So I decided to apply for a job-job to keep my little family going, went to an interview, and never heard back. (I did eventually 2-1/2 weeks later & they wanted to hire me, but by then it was too late).

In the meantime, some art I had done for fun and put up on my print-on-demand shop went viral and income started pouring in. Thank goodness! I took it as a sign from the universe, and am very grateful.

I haven’t looked back since.
But out of it all I learned to diversify.
To not rely just on one kind of work that can go away suddenly without notice.
To trust my gut and myself and my work and keep going.

Now I have an agent in the US, who represents my art all over the world.
And I have a few long-time regular clients- some 20+ years now!- I do occasional projects for.
And several print-on-demand shops with my art on fabrics, mugs, and fabulous goodies that keep some cash coming in.
And I create my own art & originals to sell on my website.

And at this point in my career, I’m going all in on my age- yep I’m older, is that bad? No it’s not, in fact I feel like I’m just getting started. :)

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

This is something that not many people talk about but I decided to share because in my healing journey, I found that others sharing their stories helped me SO much.

It’s been 8 years since I went no contact with my family of origin (FOO).
Long story short, the situation was them scapegoating me and so terribly crazy-making, they left me with no choice but to leave, after years of trying to stay where I realize now I was never welcome or wanted.

In that life, I was a die-hard people pleaser, I did whatever I could to make people like me, even people like family who should actually love you unconditionally, but mine did not and I know that now. Friends, colleagues, family, all seemed to treat me the same way and I completely lost myself, didn’t know who I was, and didn’t even know it. It stems back to my FOO rejecting me & me trying to fit in where I was definitely not ever going to fit in.
You believe you’re worthless and you try to not rock the boat to not attract attention & get more abuse hurled at you. You hide yourself and your talents and all your goodness away to keep yourself safe from their cruel words and actions.

Thing is tho’, no matter what I did, none of it worked. People I was friends with eventually ditched me, co-workers turned on me, and the bullying continued. The patterns kept repeating and I could not figure it out.

Until the final straw came with my FOO and I left. It wasn’t easy but it was necessary.
I spent a loooong time learning about the family system I came from- severe alcoholism mixed with narcissism and mental health issues, and the intense dysfunction that is all wrapped up around that. I came to understand I was just a faceless garbage can for them, somebody to blame and somebody to lie about in order to protect themselves & the system they built to deflect from actual hard truths and reality. They didn’t care about me other than that I was there to fill a need for them as somebody to dump all their “stuff” on & deflect away from the real issues that nobody wanted to address.They never actually knew me and didn’t want to.

It’s taken ’til fairly recently to learn that it was never about me. I was just caught in their crosshairs, if I wasn’t there it would have been somebody else (and likely is now). I was the whistleblower & they didn’t like it so they erased me.

So the lesson I learned was huge. I learned that I am worth so much more than the people who were supposed to love and protect me for life, and never did, made me out to be.
I learned who I am, what I like, that it’s ok to be silly, or post photos of my dogs and not get called a loser, and do exactly what I want, when I want, without worrying who is going to rip me to shreds.

I learned that sometimes family isn’t related to you but rather chosen, those people who are there for you no matter what.

I finally learned to say no.
It’s ok to say no when something feels wrong or doesn’t resonate and people who care about you will understand, even if they don’t agree.

I learned that those people never knew me, nor did they care or want to know me, and that is a million times THEIR loss, not mine.

And the very most importantly, I learned to trust and have confidence in my work and my self, which is sooooo important as an artist and putting yourself & your work out there. It took me a long time to figure that one out and I still work on it every day.

As soon as I made the call to finally leave the abuse behind, my life changed drastically for the better in every way.
And now life is great and that’s what I continue to focus on.

Going no contact isn’t for everyone and sometime not possible, but for me it was the very best thing I ever did for myself in every way.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://cynthiafrenette.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cynthiafrenette/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynthiaF.Artist