Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Betty Chan. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Betty, thanks for joining us today. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?

My mission is to create a loving, inclusive world by transforming how we think, lead, and succeed through the power of gentleness.

Sounds warm and fuzzy, right? Well, this came from a life of “no pain, no gain.”

Growing up with immigrant parents and being a woman of color, I’ve spent every day of my life navigating spaces that weren’t designed for someone like me. Too American. Too Asian. Too quiet. Too outspoken. Too different. I repeatedly didn’t feel like I belonged and became adept at shrinking myself to fit others’ expectations of me.

Nowadays, I joke that I’m a recovering hustler and people pleaser. But for a long time, I was proud of my ability to muscle through and change who I am depending on the space I was in. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was a form of armor, something I kept on to cope and feel safe with everyone in my life.

While this armor offered some protection, it eventually became too heavy to wear. Keeping it on meant I was shutting parts of myself off, being present physically but not in heart and mind. It wasn’t until I learned to embrace and celebrate every part of myself, including the contradictory and assumed broken parts, that I began to experience greater ease in transitioning between conversations, careers, and stages in life. This is the path of gentleness I wish for all of us.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

Of course! My name is Betty Chan, and I have many commas after my name. First-generation. Only child. Boxer. Furniture flipper. Survivor of the dreaded PIP. Caretaker of elders.

I’m also an Authenticity Life Coach, guiding code-switchers to ditch their armor so they can unapologetically embrace who they are. When I’m not coaching, I’m speaking and hosting workshops about how to cultivate gentleness in how we think, lead, and succeed.

My journey hasn’t been all smooth sailing. In project management, I discovered my talent for helping others achieve their goals, but it was in therapy that I became aware of the hidden struggles behind our accomplishments. This inspired me to develop a different coaching approach – one that bridges the gap between healing and goal-achieving.

I believe that beneath our protective armor is our authenticity, an unshakeable truth of who we are when we’re not trying to make ourselves palatable. While most of us want to show up as ourselves, staying grounded in the whirlwind of social comparisons and capitalistic pressures can be exhausting and challenging.

That’s where I come in. As an Authenticity Life Coach, I gently guide you through a distillation process where we weave the messy, confusing, and even contradictory experiences of your life into a clear story of who you are and who you are becoming.

My approach draws inspiration from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken objects are repaired with gold instead of being discarded. This process serves as a powerful reminder that by embracing our imperfections, we create the opportunity to rebuild ourselves into someone even more beautiful and resilient than before. And when we learn to truly belong to ourselves, we become better equipped to help others find that same sense of belonging.

Let me be honest with you. Authenticity coaching isn’t always easy. It involves intentionally breaking free from the “hustle and grind” of capitalism and white supremacy. But the journey is worth it. When you live life on your terms, you’ll find clarity, confidence, and a legacy that only you can create.

So, that’s a little glimpse into who I am and what I’m all about.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

There are so many! Where do I start?

Being first-generation greatly influenced how I approach emotions, mistakes, and harm. If you’re also first-generation, you might relate to this.

In my upbringing, emotions were seen as messy and better kept hidden. Rarely did I witness loved ones express their feelings openly; instead, emotions often simmered until they boiled over, leading to silent rifts that lasted for years. Even in my youth, I questioned this cycle – why do we distance ourselves from what we truly desire? Why do we push others away with our resentment when we are longing to belong and feel loved?

In Chinese culture, emphasis is placed on being agreeable. While it promotes kindness, it also discourages expressing opinions that may be seen as controversial. But what are we safeguarding by doing this? By choosing egos over genuine connection, I realized I was prioritizing comfort over growth and authenticity. It also meant that I doubted whether all aspects of myself could be accepted by others, even by those close to me. These beliefs can gradually diminish our identity, leaving us as a mere echo of who we are if left unchecked.

Navigating professional spaces in America as an Asian woman reinforced these challenges. I often found myself repeating my thoughts to be heard, having to raise my voice and assert myself to highlight my expertise. And when I finally mustered the courage to share my perspectives, I was systematically ostracized.

It’s tempting to cast blame on others and dwell on past hardships. After years of anger and bitterness, I realized this negativity only drained me and failed to alter the behaviors of others or the dynamics of my relationships. I’m still learning to forgive those who contributed to my belief that I should remain small but through therapy and coaching, I’ve come to understand we are all humans nursing our own wounds.

By bravely letting our discomfort guide us, we reclaim our power to choose what we stand for and how we want to show up next.

How do you keep your team’s morale high?

My suggestion is to celebrate what’s hard for the individual, not what’s hard for the situation.

Many leaders and managers understand the importance of celebrating and acknowledging others to maintain high morale. But we often reach for generic phrases – “great job” – or reinforce unhealthy behaviors – “shoutout to Betty for working over the weekend.”

A motivated team is a group of people who are wholly embraced for their experiences and contributions. That requires seeing where they are excelling and also where they are trying their best.

Next time, instead of saying “Good job” or “Thanks for working overtime” – ask yourself the following questions:

What did this team member achieve recently, despite it being hard for them to do? Examples: speak up, be on time, be thorough
If this team member was gone, what would you miss most about them? What permission does their presence give to others?

By celebrating their personal growth, you are communicating “I see you” and that you appreciate their efforts. And when others witness you doing this, they’ll recognize that you are a leader they can trust, rather than a leader who is trying to squeeze the most productivity out of them. And who doesn’t want to be part of a team like that?

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.heybettychan.com/coaching
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachbettychan
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bettychan
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@coachbettychan