We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sabrina Zhao. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sabrina below.

Sabrina , looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you tell us about a time that your work has been misunderstood? Why do you think it happened and did any interesting insights emerge from the experience?

In the past, I felt like I was always misunderstood and mischaracterized by people, so I wanted all of my work to revolve around the fight against being misunderstood and mischaracterized. There is a method neurodivergent people use called “masking” in which the individual observes their surroundings and social interactions in order to recreate a persona that can disguise any outward signal of neurodivergence.

Somewhere along the way, I had wholly become that character created in order for people to perfectly understand who I am (in a fake and manicured way). Every day I was thinking “How can one wish to feel seen when they don’t know how much to show? How much can I say before being tuned out?” And, I kind of became lost in this matrix of anxiety where I had to constantly monitor my actions and peoples reactions, like a game where choices matter.

At the latter end of this phase, several advisors had noticed that I was sort of gamifying my art practice and how I interact with people, not that it was inherently positive or negative. But what was striking was that they noticed a drastic difference in the subject material of my work, noting it as raw and sincere for what it was, regardless of the backstory or extra performative explanations I was giving. It’s funny that it was only in my work that people could look at me for who I was. I was the one who unconsciously started mischaracterizing myself.

I’ve come to realize that there is actually serious value in being yourself, no matter how clunky and awkward it can be. The right people will understand your actions perfectly, and the wrong people will probably mischaracterize you no matter what.

Sabrina , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I started drawing and painting at a young age, probably around 6-7, but even though I wanted to get better at the arts, I didn’t really consider myself a serious artist. I actually was a liberal arts major in Asian Studies/Art and Business. The entire reason I took the plunge for art school and a serious art practice was from this one particular moment in life. The time was around a year after the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. I had to leave New York after 3 years of living there because I couldn’t find a job or afford to live there anymore. I m0ved back in with my parents and worked aimlessly, miserably in fact. After I had a decent amount of money, I was walking around next to a few fields and ponds texting a friend about whether or not I should just do something crazy like go to art school. As I pass another, a blue heron just erupts from the brush and flies in this huge arc around me. I immediately took it as an omen. After some googling, I found out that in Chinese folklore, the heron means “the path” in a Daoist sense. I realized that at a crossroad in my life, the path had just opened itself up to me. So, I applied to art school immediately. Now, I am in my final semester of my MFA program, gearing up to look for new opportunities and an expansion for my studio practice. I think I will be making art and selling art for the rest of my life, or as long as I am allowed to. I am endlessly grateful to be in the position I’m in.

When it comes to the work, I’ve been thinking about hindsight lately. Hindsight, understanding things after they pass, is the incubator of realization. It’s what triggers the sense of growth, of change. It is the room I look back on and the door I close.

As a painter, I lean on words like uncovering, restoration, archaeology, etc. I look towards actions like becoming and revealing. I carry this obsession towards events carried by the progression of time, making things that are in conversation with the predecessor, the interpretation of pattern and shape. I would fall back on lofty terms like introspection and reflection, thinking it a bit esoteric, a bit spiritual. All of these things still are processed by time, realized in time. But, is it not all just my hindsight?

When I am drawing or painting, be it with ink, with graphite , or with oil, I am constantly looking towards the next thing to add or take away. I can sense the shape of the work emerging akin to bricks creating a house. When I add a mark or a stroke or a color, it exists as mark, stroke or as color. Only when I take a step back, can I sense the flesh of the work accumulating, becoming the body, as if it is coming into existence. The elements of mark and color start to work in tandem, creating the edge, creating the body and the ground it stands on. However, though the work exists as does anything else, it’s message and concept can only be actualized with hindsight. With intention set on personal reflection and disciplining, I had created work demanding interrogation. It depends on the progression of time, retracing the steps until it becomes a path, fishing for nostalgia out of a sea of memories. No matter what I try to retrieve, no matter what I try to confess, none of it could ever be realized unless I looked back.

As I progress through another year, I cannot help but maintain my reflection. It’s probably the number one thing I do. And, I’ll probably do that for the rest of my life.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

I think that as a creative, the search for empathy and understanding is exciting and intrinsic to artists as a whole. I am most joyful when people can not only appreciate my work, but realize that it is a message of who I am, my ambition, and my personal truth.

Alright – so here’s a fun one. What do you think about NFTs?

I have friends in that market and I don’t judge them for making that kind of financial decision given how lucrative it is. However, there are a lot of people and aspects of the NFT market that I disrespect. I refuse to interact with that area of the arts industry.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: Sasponella

Image Credits
Paintings by Sabrina Zhao