We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Katy Marie a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Katy, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

I had finally hit my limit. I couldn’t deny that strong and uneasy feeling inside myself any longer, the knowing, that I had to make some big life changes. I wasn’t on my life path. Leaving my current life circumstances felt scary yet staying felt more wrong.

This is my story of how I stopped living my life for everyone else and started listening to my inner voice and trusting my internal guidance. How I chose to jump into the unknown even though most people thought that I was crazy. For the first time in my life, I chose myself.

My life began in a little town within the state of Utah that is nestled into a beautiful mountain range. I grew up in a very religious Mormon family. As a little girl, I was taught a very specific path to follow in life to find happiness. My family lived our religion in every aspect of our life. We went to church every Sunday, served the other people in our community, prayed together, read the scriptures, my parents attended the nearby temple regularly. I was taught that I needed to abstain from all drugs, alcohol, and coffee. Being chaste and not having any sexual relations outside of marriage was burned into my brain all my childhood. You have to pay ten percent of all your income to the church. Women are to dress modestly and stay pure for marriage. Boys are to serve a mission for the church at the age of eighteen for two years. If you don’t follow these rules you can’t go to the temple. The temple is the end goal of a Mormon. They believe that in the temple you make covenants with God that will help you get back into heaven. Without these, they won’t let you in. They perform different saving ordinances here, including getting married. From the age of three I was taught I must get married in the temple if I wanted to live with my family forever. This was my world.

I followed this path rigidly. I believed that if I didn’t follow the strict rules, not only would I not be with my family when I died but would be shunned from the very dominant Mormon community, I was a part of. I was very focused on fitting in. So much energy went into making sure everything was looking good from the outside. I believed that the Mormon church was true and put all my effort into living it. I was so worried about how others perceived me, and I needed outside validation to tell me that I was enough. Truth be told I never felt good enough, all my efforts to be “good” were coming up short because there was a never-ending pressure to be more. More scripture study, prayer, temple attendance, service, more purity in thought and action, and guilt was my constant companion because of it.

The Mormon church taught me that the main objective for a woman in life is to marry and have children. I learned this as a young girl in my primary lessons and the songs we sang. I was married three days after I turned twenty. I had dated my then-husband for three months before we got engaged. We were so young and happy to be following the plan laid out to us. He was a good man and fully lived the Mormon religion as well. We started our life together. We were thrilled when we were able to get pregnant and start bringing children into the world. We were able to have four children together. The church highly emphasizes the importance of multiplying and replenishing the earth with children. Here I was on that path they told me to follow. I had all the things I was supposed to have to be happy, the husband, the house, the kids. I loved my children fiercely and they brought me great joy, yet something felt so off inside me. I had done everything the right way so why did it feel like I was carrying weight, a sadness? I was coming onto fourteen years of my marriage, and I had been struggling with this feeling for a while, but I pushed it down because my life looked like it was supposed to look. Yet deep inside I felt so disconnected from myself. I was even starting to notice I was getting sick and tired a lot. To the point that they thought I might have MS. My body was communicating with me that something was wrong. After many doctor’s appointments with no direct answers, I learned that it was severe anxiety but still didn’t connect it to the fact that it was because I was suppressing my inner knowing and listening to others on how to live my life. At this point, the life I was living was still the only way I believed was the right way to live. Anything outside it was not an option in my mind.

And then my little girl arrived in our family. Looking into her innocent eyes so full of life started to stir something deep within me. Did I want her to grow up feeling the same way I did? The feeling inside me was getting stronger that something was wrong. I could no longer hide from it. How did I tell my husband about the internal struggles and disconnection to our relationship that I felt? How do you hurt a man you love, a good father and companion, by telling him that you felt the marriage was wrong and that you rushed into it too quickly? That even though there was good in your life together you knew deep down it was time to walk away. If I walked away, where did I go? How did I leave my children and the only world I knew? There was a moment when this knowing came over my body. It said, “Katy, you know what you are supposed to do, and you’ve known for a long time.” This gave me the courage to finally voice to my husband at the time and family and close friends what was going on inside me.

As adrenaline rushed through my body, I expressed the pain that I had been carrying for so many years. As I voiced my truth, the people closest to me told me that I was crazy, and I was going to ruin everything. They said that I needed to keep pushing those feelings aside because I was married to a good man. I was crushed trying to ask for help and seeing that others were unable to give me any support. I see now that it was such a big life change, and their love for me made them fearful and they were doing the best they could to navigate it just like I was. At that time though I felt as if I was drowning in the water and begging them for help while they were in the lifeboat and all they said was, “you’re fine just keep swimming.” Yet I knew I couldn’t keep swimming. My heart was screaming at me that I wasn’t ok. It was in that very scary moment that I knew I had to trust myself over everyone else. I had to start listening to myself. Even if I lost everyone and everything in the process, I couldn’t keep abandoning myself. I couldn’t deny the fact that I knew I needed to walk away from my marriage. I was scared to hurt my four children by breaking up our family, they were my everything, but this internal voice was so strong that I moved forward anyway. Once I listened and took a step away from my marriage, I started to see things inside the religion I grew up in that didn’t feel true to me anymore. To realize that the religion I had devoted my everything to in my life was a lie was soul-crushing. This was so scary because my whole foundation of life was based on the things, I was taught in the Mormon religion and that was gone now too.

I had leaped. Jumping into the unknown and started to freefall. I was scared, I had little support, I was starting from ground zero as I had spent fourteen years married and putting all my time and energy into raising children while my husband worked. I had no resume, I had never paid my own bills. The implosion of life as I knew it felt suffocating. I found a job, took care of the kids when I had them but deep within, I was barely surviving. Most people didn’t understand me. Rumors were circulating about me around the community I lived in that I didn’t want to be a mom anymore, that I’d lost my mind. I clung to the few friends and family who hadn’t shunned me and kept pushing through the dark. Losing my faith in the religion I grew up in felt like I had been punched in my gut. Not being with my children all the time felt like a part of my body had been ripped off. Having to figure out how to provide for myself and my children financially would cause me to wake up every morning with a deep panic. Sleep became something I feared to do. I felt alone and deeply misunderstood. It hurt, it all hurt. I had no anchor to hold onto, just me standing in the debris of my world that had just been demolished. I kept going even with this excruciating pain. I kept going even though every way I identified as a human was gone.

This caused me to go deep into myself to find a strength I didn’t know existed. Who was I? Why was I here? What was my purpose outside of everything I had been told? I was discovering my spirituality without the rigid religion caging me in. It was a journey of trial and error as I navigated this unknown territory.

I had always loved the mountains because my dad took me into them from the day I was born, but I turned to them like I never had before. They called to me with a power that is hard to put into words. I started climbing peak after peak. I couldn’t stop I just had to keep pushing my body hard on the steep and unrelenting slopes. I realized that climbing them was my medicine. The mountain was teaching and healing me. The mountain being a powerful metaphor for what I was going through. I had this huge mountain to climb in front of me, so I went out and took on the mountains that had towered over me my whole life. Pushing myself beyond my perceived physical limitations every time. As I ran up them, my legs would cry out in agony and beg me to stop but I couldn’t stop, I needed more. I needed to feel the sturdy mountain under my feet. To sweat out the injustices I had experienced and the anger that raced through my veins because of all my emotional suppression. The mountain, she taught me over and over that I am strong. That I could rise above it all. That she would always stand underneath me as I rose. And when I would get to the top of her and look down, a new perspective was showered over me, and I felt deep joy and satisfaction. I felt my power and truth like I’d never experienced before. The mountains supported me and gave me the confidence to stop running from my pain. They taught me that pain is not the enemy but a beautiful teacher. They taught me that I was so much stronger than I realized, and I needed to keep climbing in life on this new path.

The momentum that I had created with my initial jump was set in motion and with it came a magical shift. You see I had finally listened to my inner knowing, and it continued to guide me. It was leading me down my path. It was taking me in a direction I didn’t know but fully needed. As I started going inward to release old programming and find my true essence my inner voice got stronger. People, places, and opportunities kept coming into my life that were so serendipitous that I knew it was more than just coincidence.

As I came back to my truth and started to see how amazing I was, starting to get to know and love myself, I knew I wanted to help others do the same because every one of us has an inner compass that will never lead us astray if we will listen to it. No one outside of you can tell you what is right for you. We have a system built into our bodies that is trying to speak to us, but we are so disconnected from our true essence and guidance within our heart and gut, so we rely solely on the brain and all the things we’ve been told to do with our lives. Yet the intellect alone is insufficient because it is full of false programming and that’s all we use to make decisions. When we connect back into our heart and gut knowing we will be guided on our perfect path in life so we can live full of presence, passion, and joy. We can start to live alive! My body had been speaking to me when I thought I had MS and it clicked within me that this is how I wanted to help others, to help them connect back into the wisdom of their bodies that are trying to communicate with them that something is wrong.
I wasn’t sure if I should go back to school and become a licensed therapist or become a life coach. The second option felt scary because it was less conventional. Yet again I felt the pull to do it and I also listened to my inner voice to attend it in person rather than doing it all online. That week of in-person training changed my life in such a positive way from all the connections and healing that happened. Learning all about the subconscious mind and tools to help make real change. I met women that became my friends and mentors which then led me to learn about and become a facilitator of breathwork. At the time my friend told me she was taking the training I had never tried it but knew instantly, in my gut, I was supposed to do the training with her. It was so powerful and completely changed the course of my career. Here was a tool that helped me learn how to connect to my body in a whole new way. I started bringing breathwork into group classes and the healing power in these experiences is growing like wildfire. People want and need this. I then learned about Gabor Mate and his amazing work in trauma. I was so moved by his documentary the Wisdom of Trauma but had no clue he had a course that taught people all over the world how to heal through a course called Compassionate Inquiry. I found out about this a month before the next year-long class started and knew I was supposed to join. I was accepted and once again this new information is changing everything in how I show up in my work and personal life. I now have the knowledge and tools to help people move the energy from their bodies that is keeping them from connecting into and trusting their inner guidance system. As I hold a loving, compassionate presence for people they can dive deep into the wisdom of their bodies with their breath, to heal and come back to their true essence.

I have a very loving co-parent relationship with my ex-husband and his new wife. We choose to lead with kindness and work to show our children all the support we can. We celebrate birthdays together and have stayed a team for our kids as we parent. We have a solid foundation for our children to live on. I’ve also rekindled my relationships with my family. There is a deeper connection between us. Love was always there, and it can shine brighter now with our vulnerable authenticity. Healing myself has helped to heal all the relationships around me.

Listening to myself and taking that very scary leap into the unknown was the most important decision I’ve ever made. It put me on my life path, learning to connect to and trust myself. I’m aligning and waking up to my gifts and making my career out of them. It brought me to my purpose which also includes being an example for women and girls who feel oppressed. I’m living a life that feels fully supported by the universe. My passion is to help others see that when they follow their soul’s pull, they will never be led astray. They will be supported and held, and people, places, and things will come into their lives that they never knew could happen before. I went from listening to others and playing small/safe to trusting myself and living big/free.

If you are reading this and feel suppressed and trapped know that there is hope for you to live a life that is truly yours. One that is filled with deep joy and satisfaction. You can live a life aligned to your truth. The world needs us all to live from this space so we can leave our gifts and impacts on humanity. It’s each of our birthrights to live life ALIVE!
Looking back, I’ve come so far, and I’m not done yet. I will continue to push, trust, and grow. I will rise up to my fullest potential like the majestic mountains have so lovingly taught me how to do.

Katy, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I am a trauma-informed life coach, NLP Practitioner, Hypnotherapist, Breathwork Facilitator, and creator of Reclamation Breath.

Reclamation Breath is a certification that trains people how to become breathwork coaches. I discovered breathwork in the summer of 2020 and I’ll never forget that feeling of coming home to myself. This singular moment sparked a deep calling to support and guide individuals on their path to healing through the power of breath.

Over the past four years, I’ve hosted over 400 breathwork sessions and have seen how one session can completely transform a person’s hope and ability to feel a deep connection to themselves. I’ve also learned how the body is a key component to any emotional or spiritual work as the body stores trauma.

As a trauma-informed coach, NLP practitioner, and certified breathwork facilitator, I’m excited to offer my unique way of teaching others to facilitate these powerful 3-part/circular conscious breathwork journeys.

I was named Best Of Utah’s Breathwork Facilitator. In my classes I provide a safe container for people to use their breath to access the places of pain they haven’t been able to face. Harnessing the breath we dive deep and move that stagnant energy so it can be released. With the stagnant energy moved we open ourselves up to access the true power that is within ourselves. Freeing up all that energy to live life alive!

I coach women who have been suppressed to reclaim their body, voice, and power in a three-month coaching container.

I help my clients know that their humanness is welcome, all of it then safely witness them in it. I give them tools to navigate the emotions that come up and how they can hold themselves in it. Learning how to do this allows people to be present to their lives and the beauty that surrounds them.

I am proud that as a single mother of four, I’ve been able to pave a path for myself that is in true alignment with how I want to live my life. It’s a path for my children and many others who need help seeing a way out. I have helped many people start that journey home to themselves and live life alive. The amount of courage it has taken to do this has taught me just how strong I actually am.

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

When I started holding breathwork classes for people to come to I was terrified. I would read my notes from my notebook at and would question why I was there doing it but I started doing it anyway. Sometimes I would have only a few people in class but I kept teaching. My consistent effort in holding classes and my dedication to making sure I held a safe space for my clients paid off and I was named Best of Utah Breathwork Facilitator last year.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I chose to start my own business as a single mom of four kids. Four kids alone require so much of my energy and focus. Adding on creating my business and all that has gone into that is enough to feel like the weight of the world is crushing me. How do I do it all? At first, I felt like I had to do it all alone and I didn’t ask for help. I quickly learned that I couldn’t do it all alone and started to burn out. I had to take a big step back last year to balance myself out again. It was scary to not have money coming in like before but I had no choice I had nothing to give. I’ve now invested in my business by hiring people to help me do things to expand. Already it’s making a huge difference. I’m also letting others help me in my personal life. We are not supposed to do things alone. We simply can’t so finding people to help and investing in yourself is absolutely needed.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.reclamationbreath.com
• Instagram: @hellokatymarie

Image Credits
Human Be LIght Kaelyn Larsee Nhiya Kaye Photography