We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Könül Surofchy a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Könül, thanks for joining us today. Let’s go back in time to when you were an intern or apprentice – what’s an interesting story you can share from that stage of your career?
I have always been a more one-on-one type of individual. I have struggled with opening up to others and speaking freely. After my graduate program, I moved to San Francisco and worked at a county mental health clinic for about 3 years. While there, I met a group of the most wonderful colleagues, who created the most supportive and validating atmosphere I had experienced. We were all so closely connected and very supportive of one another, so much so that it allowed me to shift my sense of trust and slowly work through my challenges around loyalty and trustworthiness. I am so grateful and appreciative that I had the opportunity to spend the earliest moments of my career with people who I felt safe and secure with. It was all brand new to me, I had not experienced anything like this before. It hurt me deeply to have moved back to San Diego and leave the wonderful souls that helped strengthen my faith in real connectedness and support. These colleagues will always have a special place in my heart.
For folks who may not have read about you before, can you please tell our readers about what type of services you provide, what problems you solve for your clients and/or what you think sets you apart from others.
Most of the individuals who reach out to me are looking for more depth and insight-oriented therapy. Often, they have tried other therapeutic approaches and yet find themselves looking for more. I work with individuals who have struggled with longstanding symptoms of depression, anxiety, self-esteem/worth challenges, and relational difficulties. The frequency at which I see the clients I work with depends on their individual needs and the depth they would like to reach through therapy. Those who prefer to be seen in therapy multiple times per week often benefit more in reaching deep work sooner, as compared to those who are seen at once a week. Often, the challenges we face with those in our personal lives eventually get reenacted in therapy, and meeting more frequently allows this reenactment to play out sooner and more vividly. Although, this can become uncomfortable, it is also immensely beneficial, as it allows us to really explore and understand longstanding patterns, feelings, and relational dynamics.
I am both a therapist and a client. I know what it is like to be on the other side of the therapist’s chair. I take my own personal work seriously, as it allows me to grow on a deep personal level. It also allows me to really understand what it is like to be on the other side. It is scary, painful, and rewarding. The more I work through my own pain, the more I can tolerate, hold, and make room for the pain of others.
Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?
Aside from past and continuing educational experiences and trainings, the most beneficial element of my success has been receiving my own intensive analytic therapy. I have been in therapy in the past, but these past 3 years have been different. From the beginning of my analytic treatment I felt that I finally found the “more” I have been yearning for, it just clicked and I was immediately fascinated and eager to go deeper. My own treatment, coupled with the experience of working with a variety of my own clients, has been more valuable to me, than any prior formalized training. This is not to say that the trainings were superfluous, in fact established educational experiences have expanded my mind in different ways and allowed me to strengthen and crystallize my knowledge around theory, assessment, and treatment interventions. As with any field I imagine, it was not until I put all these learnings into practice experientially, both in my work with clients and my own intensive treatment, that I integrated that knowledge into a deeper knowing and most importantly, a deeper feeling. If we are not open emotionally and are not actively working through our own wounds, I do not feel that we could facilitate as successful of a treatment with our own clients. How can we go deep with others if we have yet to search our own depths? And, once we reach that depth with the other, how do we help them learn to navigate, tolerate, understand, and sit with what the depth brings, if we have not had the opportunity to experience that within ourselves?
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an actress. To me, being an actress meant self-expression, freedom, and creativity. I was never allowed to pursue that path and was always encouraged to think about more “serious” professions, like becoming a doctor (*sigh* the immigrant dilemma). From a young age, I also knew that I enjoyed interacting with people one-on-one and found that people gravitated toward me for advice and support. I found that being there for others was intrinsically rewarding. However, this led to one-sided relationships where I was unable to easily open up to others due to fear and lacking the know-how of finding the words that matched my own internal experiences.
My interest for working and helping people intensified as I grew older and the more I experienced my own troubles. I was determined to pursue psychology my junior year of high school, after taking an AP psychology course, cliché, I know. That is what I did. With some bumps along the road, I eventually reached my goal. If I were to go back in time, I would not change a thing – not my own personal troubles nor my path. Working in the healing profession feels like a calling. It is a part of who I am, and what I find deeply rewarding. I am blessed and genuinely humbled by my profession. The people I work with are important to me, and I am grateful to say that I love what I do. I have not let go of my dream of acting, and plan to pursue acting classes as a hobby. However, I have also realized that a big part of my acting dream, was less about the job itself, but more about what I internally yearned for. This was to be open with others and express myself freely, to take pleasure in the joys of life and add play and creativity to them, to allow myself to feel through and express deep emotions I have long avoided, and the freedom to be authentically me. These are the areas I have worked through (and continue to work through) and have been integrating into my own practice with others.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.therapology.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapology/
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