We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Tom Glaser. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Tom below.

Tom, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Was there a moment in your career that meaningfully altered your trajectory? If so, we’d love to hear the backstory.

As counseling psychologist at a small college, I lived my dream job for seven years. I had the privilege of doing the one-on-one psychotherapy that I love AND share my love of wellness-related and leadership development topics in group settings. And not just teach in the academic sense, I was challenged to find creative ways to deliver important messages in accessible, meaningful ways. I was stimulated and felt like I was making a difference, and couldn’t wait to get up each day and get to work. My plan was to stay until retirement.

Everything changed when a nw, toxic coworker came on the team. It was a very small staff and we couldn’t avoid each other; we were assigned the same wellness promotion projects. This person didn’t hide that they hated me, and though I tried everything I could to make it work, the feeling became mutual. My dream job turned into a nightmare. I became depressed.

In desperation, I quit. I relinquished a job I loved and was good at—one of the hardest decisions of my life.

In the midst of my grief I noticed happy people all around me, from my hairstylist to the woman in the office next door to my private practice.

I began observing them. What were they doing that I wasn’t? When I got braver I began asking them questions. This effort snowballed into on-camera interviews. I decided to create mini-documentaries on what makes happier people tick.

The first day of filming was one of the best of my life. For decades I had had the sense that someday I would write a book but I didn’t know what it would be about. On a break from filming, like a lightning bolt, a jolt ran down my spine: I could do this day in and day out. Happier people is what I would write about.

Thus was born my first book, “Full Heart Living: Conversations with the Happiest People I Know” and the product that came from it: Full Heart Living Conversation Sparks. Happier people connect deeply with themselves and others and FHL Conversation Sparks are a way to help folks do just that.

At times I still miss my former dream job. But I would not have left it without some massive motivation. It seems to me the difficult coworker was the universe’s way of getting my attention and guiding me in a new direction.

I’ve been able to craft a new life, one filled with flexibility and opportunities that wouldn’t be available with a structured, full time job. And yes, I daresay I myself am now happier.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

As a psychologist and life coach I help trauma survivors and Highly Sensitive People reclaim their rightful place at the table of life.

I was drawn to the field in part because I had a phenomenal high school psychology teacher, Mr. Ryan, who helped me see that human behavior is infinitely fascinating. Also, growing up, some of the most satisfying experiences were deep conversations with friends in which we revealed ourselves and solved the world’s problems (at least in our own minds!).

When with clients, I listen deeply and actively, comparing what they are doing with their aspirations or goals. How does what they do supporting what they want? What are they doing that gets in the way of achieving their desires? I help them explore how to do more of the former and less of the latter. I can think of no more satisfying work than helping people realize their dreams and potential.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

In a word: Patience.

People don’t change on my timeline or in the way I think they should.

As a psychologist, I am constantly awed by people’s ability to change. I’m equally astounded by their capacity to remain the same. If people want to change, generally speaking they can. If they don’t want to, they probably won’t.

Either is okay. It’s not my job to judge.

If people are motivated to change for the right reason/s (not to look better to others but because they want to be better human beings, for example), they almost certainly will need to do so in the context of a relationship. Deep and lasting change occurs in community. Whether with a paid professional or a good friend or trusted family member (or combination thereof), deep and lasting change occurs when it is supported by a community. We are social beings. Our deepest wounds occur in the context of relationships and healing comes in the context of relationships. In other words, don’t go it alone!

My job as a psychotherapist and as a human being is to allow people space to make their own decisions in their own time. Meanwhile, my role is to reflect what I’m seeing, hearing, and observing, be with them in good times and bad, support them, and be honest. Trust that their own inner guidance emerges in the context of safe relationships.

It’s important to discern the right time to speak and the right time just to listen (hint: it’s mostly the latter). Thus I must bite my tongue at times. At other times, it’s incumbent upon me to speak up if they are doing harm.

Through it all, I must be patient. As the saying goes, you cannot push the river. Their journey unfolds at its own pace.

If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?

Absolutely. Being an educator and psychotherapist is thrilling. I learn so much from each client and student. I am challenged and stimulated and I believe I’m helping make the world a better place. These roles suit my personality and disposition well.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://fullheartliving.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fullheartliving/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fullheartliving
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tom-glaser-69774910/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TomGlaserLP