We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Stacey Lynnes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Stacey below.
Alright, Stacey thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?
I am the Empowerment Coach for growth minded women who are at that point in their lives where they start asking “is this all there is for me” and help guide them to living the next chapter of their lives with passion and purpose
I have spent my life navigating unending trauma and challenges that have required not only extra ordinary courage but the ability to see my worth in my world in a positive way
As a result, I have been very successful in my journey and am now at the point where I am sharing my story to help others step into their own power.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
My journey began when I was 15 and I made the decision to leave home. I had met a very manipulative boy who my parents did not like and the rest is history
This decision put me into a very lonely world where I had no choice but to see myself as a strong confident young girl in order to survive
I was faced with many personal challenges and experiences that in the end helped form the woman I am today.
I carried the lessons I learned along the way into adulthood and with the same fierce determination set my sights on law school.
At the age of 37, with 2 teenage boys, I applied and was accepted into Osgoode Hall Law School and became a lawyer at the age of 40.
It goes without a surprise to say that again, during these years, I found myself alone and facing extreme struggles and challenges to the point where I nearly lost everything, including the privilege of being a lawyer. Again, I was forced to dig deep into my ability to be resilient and navigate my way through
It’s these life skills and experiences that have led to my passion to share my story with other women and guide them as they develop the strategies to rewrite their own stories and go from living with the pain of being connected with their true selves to the pleasure of leaping into their own identities.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Well there are a few but the one that sticks out the most was when I made the decision To go to school. My boys were 10 and 15, a now ex-husband who was not working and not enough money. I also had a successful business and the truth is I didn’t need to go to law school, but it’s a promise that I had made to myself and my dad I walked out of my family‘s house
It was tough. I drove two hours to school, stayed there for eight hours, and drove another two hours home. I was greeted by two kids, their homework and a messy house. I took care of their needs, and then I took care of my own. During my first summer break, I found a job at a law firm and continued working there part-time over the next two years and mentor law students in the career services office at school.
Things were going quite well until the end of my third year. I remember sitting in my office at the law firm and the phone ringing. The man on the other end of the line introduced himself as an investigator for the Law Society, and told me that a police officer had filed against me And I had to immediately come in to be interviewed. My stomach dropped. I’m sure my heart skipped a beat or two and my mind went crazy not understanding what in the world he was talking about
The next day, at the end of our interview, my entire world dropped out from underneath me when he said “ I’ll make a report to the Law Society and then they will decide if you can ever be a lawyer”
It was at that moment I knew I was literally in the fight of my life. I had been wrongfully accused of a crime that I did not commit and now I had to go back in time to prove it
I was publicly shamed within my community, as well as my professional world. Everybody knew what happened. The police were “kind” enough to give an interview to our local newspaper, and let the law firm know what happened.
This part of my journey took every ounce of courage, resilience and strength I had. There were times when I had none and could barely make it through the day, but I had my boys watching every move I made, and I couldn’t let myself or them down.
I am happy to say that I succeeded on all fronts. I was allowed to be a lawyer and after all charges were withdrawn, I turned the tables and took the steps necessary to hold that lone officer responsible for his improper actions against me.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
The Lesson I had to unlearn that my true value and worth does not come from the opinions of others
When I left home, I was the “only”
The only high school teenager who didn’t have parents. The only high school teenager who didn’t have a support system. The only high school teenager who loved her.
Given the environment, I found myself in I quickly learned that my own self-worth, validation and love always came at a price. Yes, I maintained a strong outward persona, but on the inside I was the exact opposite.
I learned that if I became a people pleaser, I was showing affection and in return. If I became the fixer, I had worth and value in the eyes of the people around me. I learned how to be the ultimate imposter
While those traits kept me safe as a teenager they made me very vulnerable as an adult. As women we are prone to being People
Pleasers, Martyrs and Co-dependant in order to “fit in”
I had those abilities in spades!!!
It’s funny, a lot of people ask me what happened to make me finally get to this realization. The truth is that little girl who I buried away when I was 15 years old she never really left me. Every once in a while, her voice would resurface in my head and whisper remember me I’m still here waiting for you.
It wasn’t until years later did I fully see myself for who I had become. Yes I was successfully but I was exhausted and frustrated. Despite everything I have been through, everything I had overcome, and the changes that I’ve made in my life I still didn’t feel whole. I always felt like something was missing.
When I turned 50 I made the pivotal decision to rewrite my limiting beliefs about myself and transcend my own fears and need to meet in everyone’s expectations but my own and rediscover the person I was always meant to be…..a woman who lives everyday on FIRE (Fulfilled, Inspired, Resilient and Empowered)
In the end, life is short, and there will come a time when we have that opportunity to look back over our lives, and at that point, there’s only two outcomes. Either you look back and feel regret or the energy of fulfillment.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @stacey_lynnes
- Youtube: @staceylynnes
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