We recently connected with Natassia Miller and have shared our conversation below.

Natassia, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Let’s kick things off with your mission – what is it and what’s the story behind why it’s your mission?

Esther Perel famously says that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. And it’s true. Studies show that people in happy romantic relationships report higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being than singles. And better and more frequent sex leads to happier and healthier relationships. In fact, a satisfying sex life decreases stress, improves sleep, deepens connection, boosts immunity and sharpens the mind.

Yet 50% of American marriages end in divorce and 67.5% of those end because of communication problems. And if you are in an unhappy relationship, your chances of having worse health outcomes increases. Moreover, about 1/3 of married Americans are unsatisfied with their sex lives.

Problem is, we were never taught how to build a successful marriage, nor how to have great sex. And therapy can be prohibitive for most people. So our mission at Wonderlust is to help couples build the sex life and relationship they want through accessible tools, education and courses.

On a personal level, I come from a divorced household and had a very unhappy, toxic relationship in my 20’s. Only after it ended did I realize the dire toll it took on my health and self-esteem, and how long it takes to heal. As I started talking to more people about my experience, I learned how lonely and unprepared we collectively feel navigating different stages of a relationship, both in and out of bed.

Today I’m in a happy and healthy marriage I never knew possible. So, how do we maintain it in the long run? And how can more people experience this level of companionship and pleasure? It requires education and practice, but above all, it is absolutely possible to achieve. When people are happier in their relationships and sex lives, they contribute to a better world. That’s why I’m so passionate about our mission.

Natassia, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I’m a Brazilian-American sexologist based in NYC and founder of sexual wellness company Wonderlust. Before launching, we surveyed over 500 couples and found that communication was the biggest pain point to having a better sex life. So we launched with an intimacy card deck to help couples talk about sex, explore their sexual and emotional desires and spice things up. It’s been incredibly fulfilling to hear our customers talk about how our card deck has unlocked a new level of connection and sexual desire they never thought possible. We are now launching an online course for couples to learn how to have better sex. Ironically, a lot of what it takes to have better sex isn’t actually sexual. And that’s something that sets us apart as a sexual wellness company. Our communication focuses much more on the emotional and psychological, rather than the physical.

I’m currently getting certified as a sexuality educator, but my path here has been very unconventional. After college, I moved back to Brazil and worked in finance. As I grew older I realized my work was not the legacy I wanted to leave behind. When I was 29 I moved back to NYC, founded a wellness company that unfortunately launched one month before COVID and faced a lot of headwinds during lockdown. So when I decided to leave and sell my equity stake to my co-founder, I was very thoughtful about the next step. What did I really want to dedicate my time to that I found fascinating and could truly transform people’s lives? I’ve always loved talking about sex and relationships, and how we individually experience these in our lives. So I decided to start a sexual wellness company and become certified as a sexologist.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

There’s so much ego and comparison in entrepreneurship. How big is your company? How much press are you getting? What’s your market share? But little is talked about what kind of life do you want to live. What are you willing to sacrifice? How much pressure are you willing to tolerate? Is your end goal aligned with how much you are willing to risk? Being an entrepreneur is the hardest job there is. So you want to make sure your “why” is rock solid and the lifestyle you will ultimately lead while navigating this journey is sustainable for you.

Before I launched I thought I wanted to grow the company in a certain direction, and it’s only after the parts are moving that you truly grasp what it takes to get “there” (wherever that may be for you). I began talking to more friends in the space and had to take a step back to analyze if those initial goals were truly what I wanted, or if they were the ego talking. Turns out it was the latter and I’m so thankful I reflected on this early on, because I’ve met entrepreneurs who kept building in one direction without asking these questions, only to look back years down the line and wonder how they became so unhappy in the process. I had to unlearn what I thought was expected of me as an entrepreneur and critically think about the path I wanted to carve out in my own terms. And that’s what I tell every entrepreneur I meet: what are the headaches you want in your life? Because you will have them regardless, but they vary based on the business model and can be more tolerable when they lead to the life you genuinely want to build.

How did you build your audience on social media?

I’m one of those all too common stories now of going viral on TikTok. I knew I needed to market my own business and in early 2022 before we launched I knew TikTok was a place where no one knew me and I could feel a bit freer testing out content. I quickly fell in love with educating online and grew a large following on TikTok for both my personal account and Wonderlust’s. It can feel awkward in the beginning but the main advice is finding a sustainable and consistent cadence to create content and test what speaks best to your audience. There’s this concept in content creation called the Cringe Mountain. Until you get really good at your craft and find your authentic voice, you will post cringe content and that’s part of the game! At some point that shifts, but it’s a mountain you climb until you get there. So my advice is don’t be afraid of being cringe, of testing different things, asking your audience what they want to see more of — all while being consistent.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.wonderlust.co/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natassiabmiller/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natassiabmiller/

Image Credits
Olivia Steuer for my portrait images on the couch.